A Future Worth Living For
by joanna77
Summary: Making the decision to have a child...It's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. Elizabeth Stone
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, so I don't really know what I'm going to do with this, I have written the first and the final chapter but I have plenty to fill the in-between. I hope you'll enjoy it. Sometimes it will be sweet, sometimes it will be sad... Anyway, here it is. **

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**A Future Worth Livign For**Josh entered the ante-room of his office with a coffee cup in his hand. With the coffee cup that held the drink that he still had to get himself. He grumbled about being the second powerful man in the country and still not getting coffee from his assistant. Ginger looked up and let out a groan. 

"Oh, Josh, get over it," she said and then turned back to her computer.

"Tell me the truth, Donna incited you to refuse to bring me coffee," Josh demanded to know.

"I might have just been fed up with fetching coffee for Will," Ginger said. "And I know you are capable of getting your own coffee, I have seen you doing it for seven years."

"You'll bring me coffee if I don't have the time to get it myself?" Josh asked her.

"Yes. And you'll bring me coffee if you have the time and you are getting yourself a cup?" Ginger asked back.

"Sure," Josh answered with a smirk and then stepped into his office. "And Ginger?" he shouted.

"Yes, boss?" Ginger shouted back.

"I really would like to know if there was someone in my office waiting for me," Josh said in a mockingly polite tone.

"Yeah, Annabeth wanted to talk to you. You have ten minutes until your next briefing. I really wanted to tell you, Josh, but…"

"I know, I distracted you with the coffee-talk," Josh said. "It's okay."

"It won't happen again," Ginger promised, and Josh closed the door.

"What can I do for you on this lovely morning, Annabeth?" Josh asked jovially.

"You have ten minutes for me, so I won't beat around the bush. I'm pregnant and I need your help."

"Oh," Josh said, sitting down behind his desk but then he stood up again and sat down next to Annabeth on his couch. "How far are you?"

"Around thirteen weeks," Annabeth said.

"Okay, so it's safe to assume that you got pregnant while on the campaign trail," Josh said, doing the math quickly in his head.

"Yeah," Annabeth said with a nod. "It happened on November 1st."

"They can pinpoint it that precisely?" Josh asked perplexed.

"Well, not that I know of. I just know when it happened because it was a one time thing."

"You had sex without contraceptives with a one night stand?" Josh asked back, sounding a bit harsher than he intended to.

"Well, for starters I didn't have sex without contraceptives, I was on the pill and we were both clean. I just threw up the night before, and the pill didn't work. And it was a one time thing, Josh, but it definitely wasn't a one night stand," Annabeth said coolly.

"I don't understand," Josh said then, shaking his head.

"Well, we had a romantic relationship but he died five days later," Annabeth said in a whisper, a tear sliding down her face.

"Leo?" Josh shrieked but then came to his senses. "You are pregnant with Leo's baby?" he asked then in a whisper.

"Why do you think did I come to you and not to Donna?" Annabeth asked.

"I didn't know that you and Leo were…"

"That we were involved?" Annabeth asked him.

"Yeah, I didn't know that," Josh admitted.

"It's okay, we weren't stealthy or secretive or something, but we didn't exactly broadcast it. There were actually a few people who knew," Annabeth said.

"Really? Who exactly?"

"Donna, Mrs. Santos and I think Lou too," Annabeth listed the names.

"You said you needed my help?" Josh asked, after taking several deep breaths to calm down.

"Yeah, I would like to talk to Mallory about it, and…"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Josh interrupted her.

"Josh, they'll notice that I'm pregnant. They will add two and two together; I don't want Mallory to learn it from the rags. I would like you to set up a meeting with her. I know it might be too much to ask, but you and her go way back, and I really need to talk to her about the baby," Annabeth implored.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise anything, Annabeth," Josh said honestly.

"That's enough for me," the Press Secretary said and then stood to leave his office. "I'll talk to Donna this afternoon, so you are free to talk to her about it."

"I…"

"Josh, you need someone to share the burden with, plus she can give you a fresh perspective. It's not just about me; it's about other stuff too. I don't want to suggest you talk about matters of national security to her, but the everyday fights and wins; you should share that with her."

Josh got home a little earlier than he planned due to the fact that the First Lady 'kidnapped' the President by simply saying: "Matthew, we need to talk about Peter." Josh was witness of how that one sentence turned President Santos, leader of the free world into Matt Santos, father extraordinaire. He told Josh to postpone the last meeting with Sam and practically ordered both Josh and Sam to go home.

All the way home in his town-car Josh was thinking about how kids altered someone's life. He was just on the verge of picturing himself with kids when the car arrived at his flat. Donna was already home but Josh already knew that, courtesy of a Secret Service detail. He entered his apartment, his mind still on Annabeth and her baby. He took off his coat, toed off his shoes and went straight into his study where he disposed his backpack. He was tempted to sit down and think the 'kids-thoughts' to end but then decided against it. He needed to find Donna. He needed her so much. He actually held back his breath until he found her, sitting in the bedroom, covered up up to her chin, nursing a cup of hot liquid (probably tea), her cheeks rosy, her eyes glistening (probably with fever).

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked her, hurrying to her, pressing his palm against her forehead. She leaned into his touch and it felt nice, however he couldn't help but notice that she felt like she was burning. "Did you see a doctor?"

"I didn't feel this crappy until I got home," she said with an apologetic smile.

"Okay, do you think you are up to a visit?" Josh asked her. "We should get you dressed, and then I'll drive you to the hospital."

"No, Josh, it's really not that bad," Donna said.

"Yeah, believe it or not, it's bad. You are burning there, Donatella, and I think you should see a doctor. Or rather a doctor should see you."

"I could take some pills and…" Donna hedged.

"Okay, don't go anywhere, I should be back in a few minutes," Josh said. "I'll just…" he continued but then stopped. Yeah, he had a detail now, there was no 'just hopping in a car, driving to the local pharmacy or CVS-store'; no, they wouldn't let him to do that.

"Yeah, they probably won't let you, but maybe you could ask someone…" Donna said, reading his expression.

"Okay, I'll ask Mark, stay here," Josh said, and then rushed out of the bedroom.

He asked Mark if he could go to the pharmacy but the agent said that he really shouldn't. But he offered to help him, and fifteen minutes later, Donna had several pills to choose from. She took something that promised to bring down the fever. Josh was watching her carefully as she was sipping at her chamomile tea.

"You know, I won't go and perform a spontaneous human combustion or something like that," she quipped, but her voice sounded tired.

"Yeah, I do know that. You have to forgive me for worrying about you," Josh said, his light-hearted tone not entirely being able to conceal his hurt.

"I'm sorry. It's just a cold, Josh, nothing to worry about," Donna tried to reason with him, but he didn't want to listen.

"Okay, you pretend it's nothing, but could you humor me and let me take care of you?" Josh said, looking into her eyes, putting all his feelings into his gaze, trying to convey his feelings.

"Josh," Donna sighed but then nodded. "Okay, take care of me."

"Do you need something?" he asked eagerly.

"Well, it seems that I used up all my Kleenex so…"

Half an hour later, Josh was trying to sneak out of the bedroom without waking Donna. He went into the kitchen to find something to eat. He pulled out one of Donna's candles and lit it, then sat down at the kitchen table to eat his turkey sandwich. He contemplated to return to his study but then wasn't able to actually stand up and make the fifteen steps that separated the kitchen and the home office. He was just sitting there, gazing into the dancing flame of the single candle, finally able to finish his thoughts on kids.

He came to the conclusion that it must be nice to have a kid or two around. Not that he had a great many experience with kids. His contact with the 'short people'–as Toby used to call them before he became father–was limited to brief encounters with Huck and Molly and Peter and Miranda. Actually, the girls liked them. Both Miranda and Molly thought that he was funny, and Josh liked being with them. But he always felt a certain uneasiness around the boys. He didn't know why and he had never really thought about it before. Perhaps because he never made a conscious effort to befriend them, he mused. He just relied on his charm when he interacted with the girls, knowing well that he could win them over with a dimpled grin and silly jokes. Peter and Huck were not that easily impressible.

He shook his head to clear his mind. There was something he had to ask before he really started to think about having kids on his own. And that question involved a ring. He pulled out his Blackberry and sent Ginger an e-mail, instructing her to clear an hour on his schedule, preferably in the next couple of days. Then he just felt tired and decided to screw the files in his backpack, he just crawled into bed. Pulling Donna close to him, he fell asleep pretty fast.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

**A Future Worth Living For**

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"Ginger!" Josh yelled for his assistant when he was done with Sam's memo.

"What do you want?" Ginger yelled back.

Josh noticed the strategy and padded to the door of his office. Ginger was typing something. Well, since he had a secretary for the everyday typing this must be something important, that Josh acknowledged.

"I won't use the intercom," he stated then.

"It's okay, I'm used to the bellowing," Ginger said, without even looking up. "But I won't use the intercom either."

"It's okay, I'm used to the yelling back," Josh retorted.

"What did you want?" she asked, finally looking up.

"Did you clear an hour for me?"

"Next Tuesday, that was the closest," Ginger said apologetically.

"That not exactly fits the 'in the next couple of days' requirement," Josh remarked.

"No, I guess it doesn't," Ginger answered absent-mindedly.

"It would be really important," Josh said, his tone bordering on whining.

"I guessed that much, considering that you sent the e-mail late at night," Ginger said, typing away.

"Yeah. Nothing closer?"

"You are out of the building around 8 tonight, baring any emergency, of course." Ginger looked up.

"I kinda need an hour in the nine-to-five time span," Josh said.

"Why?" Ginger asked, and Josh knew he made a strategic mistake.

"Never mind, just make sure that I have that hour next Tuesday," Josh said, planning on a quick withdrawal.

"You want to go shopping?" Ginger asked him.

"Yeah," Josh gave in.

"Anything you need help with?" Ginger asked.

"I guess I could use the help, but we can't be out of office at the same time, so you are not a candidate," Josh told her with a smirk, Ginger's face fell. "Okay, I'm sorry. But it's also true. If I'm not in the office you have to be here, Ginger. If you are away, I have to be here."

"Why?"

"Because it's the Chief of Staff's office," Josh said. "And the office comes equipped with a Chief of Staff and an assistant. In the coming years, it's gonna be you and me."

"Okay, but try not to mess with your schedule when I'm not here," Ginger said resigned. "Should I ask Lou to accompany you on this shopping spree?"

"You don't really know Lou, right?" Josh asked after he let out a snort.

"No, not really," Ginger admitted. "Oh, you need manly advice?"

"Lou could help me with that," Josh said with a wink. "Okay, that was mean. But really, I need womanly advice."

"Maybe you should ask Donna," Ginger said.

"Yeah, where would the surprise be in that?" Josh murmured.

"You want to surprise Donna?" Ginger asked, perking up.

"Yeah, and I would be forever grateful if this conversation never made its way to the East Wing," Josh warned her in a friendly manner.

"Okay, boss, my lips are sealed," Ginger promised.

"Yeah, well, I think I should ask Annabeth. And before I forget," Josh started. "Clear half an hour for Annabeth once a week."

"Lunch?"

"I have lunch with Donna. Every day, in case you forgot," Josh said in a slightly admonishing tone.

"Yeah, sorry. Okay, brunch?" Ginger asked, making Josh think. He vaguely remembered that pregnant women tended to get what they called 'morning sickness', so maybe brunch wasn't the best idea.

"What's the thing in the afternoon?" he asked Ginger.

"What kind of thing?" she asked back perplexed.

"Oh, you know, if the thing after breakfast is called brunch, what's the thing called in the afternoon?"

"I don't know, linner, maybe?" Ginger quipped with a grin.

"That was a good one," Josh said with a grin on his own. "Anyway, see that I get half an hour off once a week in the afternoon, I'll call Annabeth to see if it's okay for her to meet on that day."

"Is this some kind of project you'll be working on?"

"Yeah, it's a project kind of thing," Josh admitted and contemplated to call Mallory then and there. But he still didn't know how to broach the subject and he decided not to call her until he had some kind of strategy, or really the beginning of a strategy.

"Oh, and Ginger, Donna won't be in today, so if you need my lunch time, you can schedule something instead," he told before stepping back into his office.

"What do you mean 'not in'? I met her on my way to Sam's office," Ginger said.

"What?!" Josh shouted and crossed the room in three strides. He picked up his phone and dialed the familiar extension.

"Donna Moss."

"What are you doing here?" Josh asked her.

"I work here, Joshua," Donna said.

"Don't get cute with me, Donatella," Josh warned her. "You are sick, you should be at home; drinking your chamomile tea, wearing flannel pajama pants and cute little tank tops."

"In case you didn't notice, I wear a Make-A-Wish T-Shirt," Donna told him.

"Whatever, Donna. You are sick, you belong to bed," Josh insisted.

"Josh, really, I feel so much better today and I don't have fever and I promise you I'll go home the moment I feel sick," Donna said.

"Okay, let me know, and Ollie can drive you home," Josh agreed.

"Sure. Are we on for lunch?" she asked then, and Josh could hear her smile.

"You bet. You'll have some chicken broth, and I will have a chicken salad," Josh said.

"Will you eat the salad too or just pick out the meat?" Donna asked teasingly.

"If you eat the broth I will eat the green parts too," Josh promised with a grin.

"That will be a sight to see, Joshua. See you later."

"See you later," Josh said and hung up.

Needless to say, Josh ate the greens in his salad too. After lunch both of them returned to their work, Josh slightly relieved that Donna didn't look so sick anymore. The President retired to the Residence at six-thirty, but Josh still had to stay, he had some sensitive material to read that he couldn't take out of the building. He sent Ginger home around seven, and he was just planning on leaving when Sam barreled into his office.

"Lou is coming," he announced, still out of breath.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, looking at his friend and deputy with furrowed brows.

"A story is going to broke over night," Sam said. "But I don't know more. I just finished a memo when Otto barged into my office and told me to head over here."

"Hope it's really important, I kinda promised Donna a quiet evening together," Josh said.

"How is it going?" Sam asked, sounding genuinely interested.

"It's great. We have some lingering issues, but we are working on it," Josh admitted.

"Ever thought of marriage?" Sam asked him in a quiet voice.

"As a matter of fact, I did. I'm going ring-shopping next Tuesday," Josh boasted a bit.

"Really? She said yes?" Sam asked.

"I haven't asked yet, Sam," Josh said.

"Josh, free advice, do talk about it before you go ring-shopping," Sam said.

"I thought I would just pop the question, she would smile and kiss me, then I would ask again just to be sure, and she would say yes."

"Yeah, that's how it works in romance novels and chick flicks, Josh," Sam said, his tone a bit admonishing. "With you and Donna, not so much. Remember what you told me after you came back from your vacation?"

"Which part do you refer to?" Josh asked, sounding a bit defensive.

"No need to bring out the passive-aggressive for me, Josh. It's me, Sam, I know you. You should talk to Donna before dashing off to ring-shopping. You told me after coming back that you two promised each other to talk about things, not wanting any misdirection or miscommunication to stand in the way of your happiness."

"What about?"

"Excuse me?"

"What should we talk about?" Josh clarified.

"Marriage is a thing that kinda has a lot of issues riding on its tailcoats," Sam said.

"Yeah."

"I mean, kids, a house, college fund, life insurance. Future plans, since this job won't be there in eight years," Sam listed. "A wedding, for starters. I wouldn't shop for a ring unless you are clear about those issues, both with yourself and with Donna."

"Okay," Josh said with a nod. "Thanks, Sam."

"No problem. I just hope that Lou appears soon, Anna is waiting for me," Sam said.

"You called her?"

"Yeah, she is a real trooper," Sam said.

"Listen, Sam, I…"

"No need for that, Josh. It was my decision," Sam cut him off. "It's service to the President, plus, I missed my best friends," he added with a smile.

"We missed you too," Josh admitted and then Lou stormed into his office. She smashed a newspaper onto his desk, pointing at the picture under the fold. 'Playing House', it read above the pictures, and made Josh shiver at the bad double entendre. It showed Josh and Donna kissing on his stoop, and then it showed Sam and Anna doing pretty much the same in front of Sam's brownstone. Josh didn't really need to read the whole article; the title was a dead giveaway what he would find. He read it nonetheless. The words were quickly burnt into his mind; he looked over at Sam and nodded. Yeah, it was every bit the bad thing they envisioned upon seeing the pictures.

"What's this?" Josh asked Lou, his voice dangerously quiet.

"It's a right-wing newspaper with a circulation of 2000, Josh. Nevertheless, that's how it will look like tomorrow morning," Lou said.

"You got an advance copy?" Sam asked.

"Delivered to me personally," Lou said.

"I want you to call them, Lou, and tell them that…"

"Josh, there is nothing to threaten with," Lou said in a low voice. "They don't need our cooperation, we cannot offer them anything."

"Okay then, get me the editor on the phone," Josh said.

"Josh, I don't think you…"

"And when he is done I'll to talk to him too," Sam joined them.

"Sam, Josh, I understand that you are upset but…"

"Lou, look at me! Do I look like upset?" Josh asked Lou, looking straight into her eyes.

"No, you look like one of the Furies, but, you know, without the snake-hair," Lou tried to lighten the mood. It was lame, but Josh couldn't help but grin. "Josh, let me take care of this," Lou said.

"What are you planning to do?"

"Nothing," Lou said. "At least not tonight."

"I don't like this plan," Sam inserted.

"I'm no fan of my own plan either, Sam, but you know we can't fight this," Lou said. "You are two successful men who have beautiful girlfriends, fiancées, whatever. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I'll prep Lester tomorrow first thing in the morning. You two go home and tell Donna and Anna."

Josh found himself deep in thoughts again. He surprised even himself, because he wasn't thinking about those pictures; no, he was thinking about Sam's words. Was he really ready to take on all the responsibility that came with marriage? Did he want a house? The answer was a tentative yes. He wanted one, just not right away. He enjoyed his apartment with Donna there, it was cozy. A house would maybe keep them apart, he reasoned. But he knew if Donna wanted it, he would move into a house the second she uttered her wish. Because he took nothing more seriously than making his beautiful girlfriend happy. He smiled at that thought, and that's when he arrived at his brownstone.

"Sir?" Ollie asked him.

"Give me a moment, Ollie," Josh asked his driver and then thought about his future plans. What would he do once they are done in the White House? One thing was sure he wouldn't direct another presidential campaign, he was done with campaigns altogether. Of course, Donna might want to run a campaign (presidential or otherwise), and then he would join her, if she wanted, of course. Otherwise he would wait for her in their new house, taking care of their kids. That he knew with hundred percent certainty. He wanted kids. He realized that Sam was right. He needed to talk to Donna about these things, simply because his plans depended on her plans, starting with the fact that he couldn't have kids without her. He let out a grin and then climbed out of the car.

_TBC_

_**If you like it, please leave a review.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A Future Worth Living For**

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"I'm home!" he shouted when he stepped inside. Mark, the head of his detail smirked at him, waiting for the usual reply. 

"Me too!" Donna shouted back and walked out of bedroom to greet Josh with a kiss. Mark closed the door. "Hi," she said after the kiss. "You are late."

"Yeah, Lou intercepted me basically at the door," Josh said, and then leaned in for another kiss.

"What happened?" Donna asked, following him into his study where he disposed his backpack.

"This," Josh said, pulling a folded paper out of his pocket. It was a photocopy of the article.

Donna stood there, reading the article. Josh watched her with apprehension but he couldn't read her. Her face showed the same emotion all the time, and Josh didn't know what to do. He desperately wanted to pull her in a hug, but he wasn't sure what she needed. The comfort or the chance to shout.

"What is Lou doing about it?" Donna asked then, surprising Josh completely. She sounded to Josh's ears almost nonchalant. But that couldn't be, could be, Josh asked himself.

"It's okay to be upset," he said, finally taking her into his arms, but Donna shook her head and slid out of his embrace.

"I'm not upset," Donna said.

"You are right, I was furious myself," Josh said and waited for Donna to say something in return.

"Why?" Donna asked, still looking down at the article. "Everything is true what they write here."

"Yeah, I kinda figured," Josh remarked sarcastically. "Lou said we shouldn't do anything about it. The hype will die on its own. We are single, consenting adults."

"She is right."

"Why aren't you furious?" Josh asked then.

"Because nothing in here is a lie," Donna said, "and because there is nothing I can do about it."

"I wanted to call the editor," Josh confessed.

"Don't do that," Donna said hastily.

"Well, I won't, especially not after seeing your reaction," Josh said, his tone still dripping with sarcasm.

"Josh," Donna sighed.

"Donna, I'm outraged! And you know why? It might be true what they write, but the way they wrote it! It makes me wanna scream, it makes me wanna… Donna, they are painting us dirty. They are painting Sam and Anna dirty!" Josh shouted.

"Calm down, please," Donna said.

"I would calm down, but every time I look at those pictures there is this urge to punch that photographer who took the pictures and then sold them to that right-wing rag."

"Josh," Donna said again, accompanying her soothing words with a caress on his upper arm. "Calm down, please."

"I don't want to calm down," Josh seethed. "They are defiling what we have."

"We knew that something like this would happen."

"I know," Josh said, letting out a heavy sigh. "It doesn't make it easier to tolerate this crap."

"No, it doesn't," Donna agreed with a sad smile. "You ate?" she changed the topic.

"You mean dinner?" Josh asked her, after letting out a final huff.

"Yeah, I mean dinner." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Ginger brought me a sandwich," Josh said. "You hungry? We could order Chinese."

"No, I had dinner with Annabeth."

"How is she?"

"You met her yesterday, Josh."

"Yeah, but she is pregnant," Josh retorted.

"Okay, pregnancy is not an illness. It's a condition," Donna told him.

"Is she okay?" Josh pressed on.

"Yeah," Donna gave in. "She said Ginger scheduled an appointment with you once a week."

"Yeah, the pressure is growing, but I'd like to help her. I might not have much time but I'd like her to know that I'm there for her," Josh said.

"That's sweet of you," Donna said, giving him a kiss on the lips.

"I think that's what Leo would like me to do," Josh said.

"I'm sure Leo is very proud of you, Joshua," Donna said, giving him another kiss. "You wanted to talk about something tonight?" she changed the subject again.

"Yeah," Josh said. "I would like to shower first."

"You want me to wash your back?" Donna offered in a sultry voice that sent a shiver down his spine.

"If you insist," he quipped with a grin.

After their 'recreational' shower, as Josh dubbed it, they went into the bedroom and slipped into bed. Josh pulled Donna closer, by slipping an arm under her shoulders. He caressed her upper arm for a while, feeling the stress of the day dissipate.

"I'd like to talk about our future," Josh said after Donna nudged him.

"Okay," Donna said hesitantly.

"I mean what are your future plans?" Josh asked, cringing inwardly because he knew he was screwing this up.

"What are my future plans?" Donna echoed, sitting up.

"Yeah, because I was thinking about my future plans and I thought I would like to know yours," Josh said.

"And what are your future plans, Josh?" Donna asked sweetly, making Josh cringe again. He was definitely screwing up.

"I'd like to marry you and have a kid. Or two," he blurted out.

Donna sat there, ramrod straight, not even blinking. Josh took it as a sign that he screwed this up and cussed.

"I'm sorry, Donna, I know it's not romantic at all, I just thought that we should talk about it. I promise you I'll fix this, Ginger already cleared an hour for me next Tuesday, and I'm going to buy a ring and then we'll have a romantic dinner and I'll ask you to marry me," Josh rambled nervously.

"You want to buy me a ring?" Donna asked him, finally finding her voice.

"I'd like to ask you to marry me," Josh said.

"Why, Josh?"

"Because it's the next step in our relationship," Josh said.

"Josh, six months ago we couldn't exchange simple pleasantries," Donna threw in, confusing Josh.

"And yet three months ago we had incredible sex," he said with a grin, but quickly wiped it off his face after noticing the glare Donna gave him. "I love you, Donatella, and I think we should marry."

"But why? Is this because of the picture?" Donna asked suspiciously.

"Donna, no!" Josh protested vehemently. "I didn't even know about the picture when I told Ginger to clear that hour for Tuesday. I completely screwed this up."

"Well, some of it," Donna gave him a shaky smile. "But you were right; we should talk about this before you buy a ring."

"You don't want to marry me?" Josh asked incredulously.

"Josh," Donna warned him. "We are talking about marriage. I didn't say no, did I?"

"But you didn't say yes either, did you?" Josh retorted.

"You bring the passive-aggressive? This is me, Josh, I know you," Donna said.

"I'm on a roll," Josh murmured.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Sam said the same to me today. Donna, would you marry me?"

"Yes, Josh, but I think we should definitely talk about things before you go and buy a ring."

"You think I would change my mind after this conversation?" Josh asked perplexed. "Because I won't, Donna. I love you and I need you in my life forever."

That earned him a kiss, but before he could deepen it, Donna withdrew.

"We should talk," she said.

"Let's talk about kids," Josh said.

"Okay," Donna said. Did she sound resigned, Josh wondered.

"You don't need to sound so enthusiastic," the jab was out before he thought about it.

"Okay," Donna said, her eyes mere slits, "I'll let that slip, Josh because I actually think that you didn't want to say that."

"I didn't," Josh said ruefully. "And I'm really sorry."

"But you thought it, and I guess I have to be thankful for your honesty."

"I should have considered the delivery," Josh said.

"Yeah, you definitely should have," Donna agreed. "I should return the courtesy with equal straightforwardness."

"Go on," Josh encouraged her.

"Are kids a deal-breaker?" Donna asked, and Josh couldn't suppress a gasp. He didn't count on that, he thought they would haggle over the number of kids, not over the mere existence of them.

"You don't want kids?" he asked, his tone conveying his hurt.

"Josh, answer the question, please," Donna urged him.

"What was it again?" he asked. Stalling, he diagnosed himself.

"You want to marry me even if I don't want kids?" Donna asked.

"I want to marry you because I love you and need you, but also because I want kids with you," he said, realizing that only honesty could release him from his predicament.

"I see. Well, then let's take a closer look at the possible scenarios," Donna said, and Josh was reminded that the Donna in front of him was not the Donna who he knew once. She not only matured but also lost her innocence and some of her spontaneity.

He knew he lost the Donna he fell in love with, but then ―maybe to his greatest surprise― he fell in love with her again. He was only disappointed that Donna was able to treat the issue in that businesslike manner; his old Donna would have never did that. Although his old Donna was just as organized as the one sitting in front him, so maybe him having the following conversation had always been charted by Fate. He liked that thought. He liked that no matter what, no matter which President they were meant to be together. He liked that a lot. It restored some of his faith he lost along the way from the day his sister died in that horrible fire. The thought made him content. Well, almost content. Because when he met Donna's eyes, he saw her discomfort. Hence the 'almost'. Apparently his girlfriend was not happy which meant that he had failed her somehow.

_TBC_

_**If you like it, send a review my way, it truly makes my day! And thanks for the wonderful reviews so far! **_


	4. Chapter 4

**A Future Worth Living For**

* * *

"Scenarios?" he asked back once his mind was able to focus on the conversation again.

"Yeah, Josh, I'm sure you are familiar with the term," Donna remark sarcastically. "Take the pregnancy. I wouldn't want to do it all alone."

"So you would like to have kids," Josh inserted.

"Josh, you realize that it's you who wanted to talk, I can shut up every time I want. Sure, I would feel guilty about it for a while but I wouldn't be the one ending up being frustrated," Donna said in a detached tone.

"Yeah, okay, I'll try to focus," he murmured.

"So, I wouldn't want to do it all alone. I would want you to be there for the checkups and ultrasounds and such. I would like you to accompany me to the Lamaze-classes although I wouldn't pressure you if you didn't want to come to the delivery room," Donna said.

"I would like to come, but I'm not sure I would be of any use," Josh said. "As for the checkups, Donna, I know my schedule, but I would accompany you."

"Even if you had to be in the Situation Room?"

"Are they reschedulable? I mean the checkups?"

"I would think so," Donna hedged.

"Then we would reschedule," Josh said with a hint of triumph in his voice.

"Okay. Delivery. Even if you didn't want to stay for the actual birth, I would like you to stay with me and help me until the time comes."

"I would take a day off. Make that four-five days," Josh said. "I would like to stay with the two of you for a while. Help you get settled at home."

"Again, Situation Room," Donna said.

"Yeah, I know. But I could ask Sam to step up," Josh answered.

"Okay, Josh," Donna gave him a slight smile. "That was the easy part. Once the kid is at home, I would like you to help me to raise the baby. That means being there for bath time, bedtime, goodnight-kisses and such."

"I'm already making an effort to be at home at a reasonable time," Josh said. "You can't deny that."

"No, I won't deny it," Donna said. "But Josh, babies need and like constancy. I can't tell a six-months-old to wait for Daddy because Lou wanted to have a word."

"I would make clear to anyone that I have to leave at six-thirty," Josh said. "I know there will be days when I can't but I would make sure those were the exemptions," Josh promised.

"Okay. Let's fast forward. Kindergartens tend to involve parents in all sorts of activities," Donna said. "I'm sure that our child would want to have Daddy there and not just excuses that he couldn't come."

"Whoa, Donna, that was some fast-forwarding!" Josh exclaimed. "I don't want us to have a baby right away."

"No?" Donna asked back hesitantly.

"No," Josh said. "I would like to have you for myself for at least a couple of years."

"Then why are we talking about marriage?"

"Because that's the next step in our relationship," Josh said.

"Josh," Donna sighed.

"It is!" Josh insisted.

"Yes, it is. But why is it so damn important right now?"

"Because I would like you to know that I love you and that I'm committed enough to marry you. Also I wouldn't want you to think that I'm waiting for someone else to come along. 'Cause there won't be anyone else, Donna. You are the one I want to grow old with. You are the one with whom I want the 'forever,'" Josh whispered.

"Oh, Josh!" Donna said, and Josh saw the tears pooling up in her eyes. "Why the sudden insecurity? We talked about forever on our vacation. I know you want forever, you know I want forever."

"I'm that way, okay?" Josh said, sounding defensive again.

"Josh," Donna said with another sigh. "Look at me, Josh."

Josh looked up at her and knew that she could see right through him. She always knew how to read him. Sometimes it was downright scary, sometimes he was really grateful for it. Now, the knowledge that she knew what he was thinking made the tension he felt from the beginning of the conversation dissolve.

"Is this because you fear that I could leave again?"

"No!" Josh protested. "Yes. I don't know."

"I told you 'forever,'" Donna whispered.

"Donna, I just want to marry you," Josh said, his voice choking a bit. "You said you wanted to marry me. Could we leave it at that?"

"You wanted to talk about our future," Donna said, and Josh knew that she was hurt.

"Yeah. I just thought that we had the same things on mind. I never thought you didn't want kids with me."

"You know what, Josh? I never said I didn't want kids!" Donna practically screamed.

"You know what, Donna?" he mimicked her mockingly. "You never said you wanted!"

And then all he could do was watch in horror when Donna's body went limp, the fight leaving her completely. She stayed in that cataleptic-like state for almost a minute, Josh didn't dare to touch her. At the first sob he reached out for her, but she recoiled. Her whole body was trembling, the sobs coming at great speed; he tried to reach out again, and this time she let him. He caressed her back lightly, but didn't dare to utter a word. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what the real problem was. Because the fight they just had wasn't, of that he was sure.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered hoarsely. "So sorry."

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have…" her voice caught up in her throat, and she only shook her head. "Oh, God, Josh!" she sobbed then.

"What's the problem, honey?" he asked her, rubbing her back soothingly. It was the first time he used a term of endearment, but it came so naturally, he didn't even notice it.

"I did something terrible. I wanted to play you," Donna sobbed. "I swore to never do it and look at me! Three months and I already broke my promise."

"You wanted to play me?" Josh asked incredulously.

"I wanted to scare you off of kids," Donna said.

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid of having kids. And I didn't want to tell you that," Donna said. "I will never forgive myself this. I swore to never play with your feelings. I promised that. I broke my promise," she repeated, the sobs wrecking her body. "God, I'm so sorry!"

"Donna, honey, calm down, please," Josh said after she let out what were clearly dry heaves. "You are making yourself sick."

"We promised no more misdirection, but I was a coward tonight, Josh. How could you just sit there and comfort me when I did something that horrible to you tonight?" Donna asked, the tears still falling.

"Donna, let me take care of you," Josh whispered, pulling her into his embrace. "I want to take care of you." He pulled her even closer, his knuckles still rubbing her spine. She hid her head in his shoulders, and Josh could feel the tears falling on his t-shirt.

"You don't want to know why I'm afraid of having kids?" Donna asked perplexed, looking up at his face.

"You'll tell me when you are ready for that," Josh said reassuringly. Yes, he was hurt; yes, he felt betrayed but he also knew that it was not about him. This time Donna needed his forgiveness, and he loved her too much to deny her that. He knew he was going to be angry later, angry because of what they promised to each other. He upheld his promise but Donna broke hers. It hurt like hell to know that Donna was ready to play him, but he knew that she needed him right now and that they were going to deal with the other stuff later.

"Most of the times I feel I can't give you enough love, Josh," Donna confessed, surprising Josh. He didn't know what to say to that. Yes, he felt sometimes that she held back, but he chalked that up to the fact that they were both cautious. After all, they both sucked in the relationship department. He didn't hide anything from Donna, at least not for long. He knew that she accepted him the way he was, so he wasn't nervous to show Donna all the Joshes that he concealed from others. Apparently Donna didn't feel that way. Which meant she didn't trust him the way he trusted her.

"You don't trust me?" Josh asked her in a whisper.

"That's not it, Josh," Donna said, shaking her head. "I trust you. I always did. Even when you hurt me, even when you ignored me, I trusted you. So that is not the problem. You are not the problem. It's me."

"It must be me, Donna, because you are the most caring, loving person on the world, and if you can't give into our relationship it means that you are afraid that I will break up with you when it comes out that you are not always the way you are most of the times," Josh said, not making much sense, but he hoped Donna understood him. After all she always did.

"That's it, Josh. I'm not so sure that I'm all that caring and loving. There are days I don't really like the person I became. Because I lost something along the way, I think it's the warmth I'm missing," Donna explained. "I mean you were the most important person in my life and you are again. I loved you with all of my might back then, and I love you now too, but there is something missing this time."

"Donna, you still care, you still love," Josh tried to reason with her. "I would be lying if I said I didn't notice the changes. But I love the person you became. I loved you for a long time, and then I fell in love with you again."

"But why?" Donna asked him. "How can you love this cold bitch I sometimes am?"

"Because you are not a bitch at all," Josh reassured her, hiding his consternation. "Not at all. Yes, I noticed that sometimes you are cold. I think you keep now things at arm's length, things you would have felt all compassionate about before."

"Before what?" Donna asked.

"I think before Gaza," Josh guessed.

"Yes, I stopped thinking about our kids around that," Donna confessed in a whisper.

"You thought about our kids before?" Josh asked, feeling his excitement returning.

"All the time, Josh. I think I had been thinking about our kids almost as long as I knew you," she said, snuggling closer to him.

"Did you imagine them with blonde hair and blue eyes?" Josh asked in a whisper.

"No," Donna said, shaking her head. "They had brown curly hair and deep brown eyes. And dimples. They had dimples," Donna said, her voice choking again. "But, Josh, I don't think I would be a good mother. Not anymore."

"Donna, I think you just have to learn again to let yourself go. Not at work, you need to be detached a bit. But at home. Just be the way you want to be. Don't hold back, cry if you want, shout if you want, laugh if you want. I'll be here for you for whatever you need me."

"You think I can learn that again?"

"Yes, I think you can," Josh said.

"You are very wise sometimes," Donna said, and Josh chuckled.

"Yeah, I have my moments. Donna, I learned it back in the days when I worked in the Senate that you have to separate the personal from the professional," Josh said.

"But your girlfriends never learned that," Donna added.

"Yeah, the tragic of my life," Josh quipped. "They were able to hurt me because of that. Because I gave everything when it was just the two of us. I still do, Donna, although after my previous experiences I really shouldn't. But I trust you, I trust you never to use my feelings for you for your political gain."

"I would never do that. I know that my promises are worth nothing right now, but I would never do that, Josh," Donna insisted.

"I know, Donna. I know. That's why I don't hide anything from you. That and the fact that you were always able to read me," Josh said. "You just have to learn to trust me too," he added.

"I really trust you, Josh."

"Your subconscious doesn't, but it's okay right now. I mean I didn't really earn your trust," Josh said. "I hurt you and ignored you before, why would I behave otherwise now? I would never intentionally hurt or ignore you, Donna. I would never do that."

"I know," Donna said with a slight nod. "So I have to learn to separate the professional from the personal."

"Yeah, that would be my unsolicited advice. And it's all for free," he cracked.

"I really don't want to see a shrink about this, Josh," Donna said, the tears returning to her eyes.

"You don't need to if you don't want to. Could we revisit the topic in six months?" he asked, with a hopeful undertone.

"Which one?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, the one about kids. Because I'm still buying that ring for you on Tuesday," Josh said with a cocky grin. "You can be my fiancée, we don't have to set a date."

"I don't want that newspaper think that we do it because of them," Donna said.

"Okay," Josh agreed.

"Six months engagement?" Donna asked.

"That would put our marriage around the birth of Annabeth' baby. I don't want to steal her show," Josh said with a smile.

"That's sweet of you, but I think Annabeth would appreciate the diversion," Donna said. "However I would want her to be there, so I'm thinking May."

"This May?" Josh asked back.

"Too short?" Donna asked back unsurely.

"No, absolutely not. This will give me time to actually work towards world peace so when the big day comes no one has to leave hastily," Josh quipped, and for the first time during the night he felt contentment again.

Yes, Donna was afraid of having kids, but she didn't say she didn't want them. Yes, they had trust issues but they were working on it. And yes, Donna broke her promise, but Josh already forgave her. And she said yes to his marriage proposal. And their was a vow that said 'in good times and in bad'.

_TBC_

_**If you liked it, please leave a review. **_


	5. Chapter 5

**A Future Worth Living For **

* * *

The next morning's senior staff came and went without any hitches, although Josh could see that Sam looked pretty glum. He let the others go, asking Lou, Lester and Sam to stay.

"Okay, let's talk about the pictures," Josh said. "Lester, what do you say?"

"The White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of the staff," Lester said.

"Right," Josh said with a nod. "Prepare yourself for the pestering. They will come at you with their wild theories, try not to flinch."

"Okay, boss," Lester said, after flashing a brief grin at Josh.

"Lou?"

"I still think that doing nothing is the best course of action," the Communications Director said.

"Well, putting aside that 'doing nothing' doesn't constitute as action," Sam started, "I still think that a call to the editor wouldn't go amiss."

"I thought about it and we'll follow Lou's lead, Sam. You and I are too close to call the shots on this," Josh said, and Sam nodded. "Okay, anything else?"

All three of them signaled with a shake of head that there wasn't, so Josh let them go.

"Ginger, what's next?" he asked his assistant.

"The Chairman runs late so you have ten minutes," Ginger said.

"Okay, could you place a call to Mallory?" Josh asked her, thinking that he should set up that meeting with Annabeth and Leo's daughter as soon as possible.

"She is on line two!" Ginger shouted, and he picked up the receiver.

"Hi, Josh!" Mallory greeted him, and Josh could hear the smile in her voice.

"Hi, Mal! How are you?"

"Thanks, we are fine. Well, apart from the fact that Tommy threw his breakfast at me," she said. "How comes you call me?"

"I need to talk to you. Preferably in person," Josh said.

"Well, consider yourself lucky, we are in the D.C. Andy had to travel to San Francisco so we are at Mom's."

"I consider myself lucky then. Listen, I would take you out for dinner but there are reporters out for my blood and…"

"Say no more, I should visit you at the White House?" Mallory asked.

"That would be kind," Josh said with a relieved sigh.

"Okay. I could come by around three today, if that's okay with you," Mallory said.

"I'll transfer you back to Ginger, she handles my schedule," Josh said with a self-deprecating smile.

"I see you learned your lesson well," Mallory said with a chuckle.

"What kind of lesson?"

"That it's really the assistants who run the country," Mallory said with a laugh. "Now, transfer me back."

Josh's day quickly deteriorated soon after the conversation with Mallory. The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs ran late because there was an accident in Kazakhstan. Josh already memorized that Kazakhstan was eleven hours ahead of them so he did the math while hurrying down to the Situation Room where he spent most of his time before lunch. The situation got worse before it got better but he couldn't do anything besides waiting. He realized that he could as well wait in his office, having lunch with Donna. He really needed the time with her. She not only grounded him, she gave him new energy; this wasn't a new insight, he realized it the third day after Donna hired herself. She left around one and he dedicated himself to his security briefing memos. Just after two Sam poked his head in, asking for permission to enter.

"Ginger is not there?" Josh asked him.

"No," Sam said. "Your other secretary is there, she told me to come in."

"I wish she wouldn't do that. I mean you are welcome here anytime but she is not able to tell the difference," Josh said. "So, how was your day?"

"Better than yours by the sight of it," Sam said, gesturing towards the piles on Josh's desk.

"Yeah, we not only have a situation in Kazakhstan there are also problems in Israel," Josh said with a sigh.

"You had lunch?" Sam asked him, looking at him with scrutinizing eyes.

"Yeah, Donna and I have lunch together every day. But you know that," he added then with a grin. "She makes sure I eat the healthy stuff."

"She is right, you know, you are not getting any younger," Sam said.

"Nice way to tell me that I'm old," Josh said with a scowl.

"Well, I call them as I see them," Sam said with a grin.

"Hey, how did Anna take the picture?" Josh asked.

"Well, not that good," Sam said. "Was Donna livid?"

"No, actually no," Josh said in a low voice.

"Is something wrong?"

"Am I too old to have children on my own?" Josh asked his friend.

"No, I don't think so," Sam answered, and Josh could see that he really thought so.

"Okay," he said non-committal then. "Is he okay?" he changed the topic with a movement of his head towards the Oval Office. He was not quite ready to share his worries about Donna with Sam.

"Yeah, he is okay," Sam said with a nod. "We bonded a little. Apparently we both hate budget meetings," he added then with a tired sigh.

"Who doesn't? I mean except President Bartlet," Josh said with a gentle smile.

"Yeah." Sam smiled back.

"Oh, Mallory is coming to visit me today. You wanna meet her?" Josh asked Sam then out of the blue.

"I don't think it would be a good idea," Sam said, standing up.

"Well, she is coming in a half an hour and then we'll go over to the East Wing," Josh said.

"Okay, thanks," Sam said and then left Josh's office.

Josh returned to his memos, although his thoughts were elsewhere. He still didn't know how to broach the subject to Mallory, but one thing was sure, he didn't want Annabeth to tell Mallory the news. Leo's daughter always had a quick temper, and Josh didn't want to subject a pregnant woman to that. He knew he can take the heat, so it had to be him telling Mallory about Leo's baby.

And that's when Ginger told him that Mal was there.

"Send her in," Josh told his assistant and watched Mallory as she entered the office.

"Nice job," she said, gesturing around.

"Yeah, Donna helped me," Josh said with a smile.

"So life's been good to you lately?" Mallory asked her.

"Well, as good as it gets as Chief of Staff to the President of the United States," Josh said.

"Tell me about it."

"I learned a lot from your dad, Mal. I learned from his mistakes too," he added.

"Good for you. And Donna," Mallory said. "Okay, small talk aside, what do you want?"

"Well, that was fast," Josh said with a smirk, but then his face sobered. "Listen, I need to tell you something about your dad. If you want to scream or trash something, you are welcome."

"Are you sure you want to tell me?" Mallory asked, and Josh heard the trepidation in her voice.

"The papers will write about it soon, and I want you to hear from me," Josh said.

"Okay," Mal said, heaving a deep sigh. "Tell me."

"Your dad had a romantic relationship on the campaign trail," Josh decided to start there.

"You mean a campaign fling?"

"No, it wasn't a fling," Josh said with conviction.

"Well, he was a free agent," Mallory said cautiously. "I mean it's news, and I'm a bit hurt that he didn't tell me, but I guess…"

"Yeah," Josh interrupted her. "I'm sure they wanted to tell everyone after the elections. It was new. I mean I didn't know about it back then."

"Then how do you know it wasn't a fling?"

"Because Donna and Mrs. Santos knew about it," Josh said.

"Oh," Mallory said, clearly taken aback.

"Yeah," Josh agreed. "There is more."

"There is more?" Mallory asked, her voice rising. "Did they marry?" she asked then sarcastically.

"That would make this easier," Josh whispered. "No," he said then aloud.

"Then what is it?" Mal asked back.

"Well, she is pregnant," Josh said.

"What?" Mallory shouted and sprang up.

"Yeah, that was predictable," Josh muttered under his breath.

"What are you talking about?" Mallory shrieked.

"I'm telling you that the woman who had a romantic relationship with your late father is pregnant with his child," Josh said, and Mallory sat back, her facial expression unreadable. "Mal?"

"Hmmm," Mal muttered. "Do I know her?"

"Probably," Josh said. "I mean I think you met her."

"She was at the funeral?" Mallory asked.

"Yeah," Josh said.

"It's Annabeth Schott, right?" Mallory asked.

"How did you know?" Josh asked perplexed.

"Yeah, I think I knew about them. I think I saw it in her eyes when she came to me to offer her condolences."

Josh only nodded, and then drew a deep breath.

"She is waiting for us in the East Wing," he said.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"She wanted. She doesn't know I did," Josh said with a brief grin.

"Why didn't you let her?" Mallory asked him.

"Well, I didn't want to fly off the handle in the presence of a pregnant woman," Josh said.

"You can be so sweet sometimes," Mal said with a grin.

"Yeah, they keep telling me that," Josh admitted with a grin himself.

Josh arrived home around eleven; they waited for the sun come up in Kazakhstan. By eight o'clock local time, the search party found the missing soldiers. Fortunately, they only lost their way and weren't kidnapped as the Chairman feared. He dragged his tired body into the shower and then into bed. He inched closer to Donna, looped his right arm around her waist and watched her sleep. Five minutes later, Donna woke up.

"It's not polite to stare at people," she said in a raspy voice.

"Yeah, I needed to watch you," he confessed. "You are so beautiful."

"Thank you. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, they just lost their way," Josh said. "The Chairman feared that they were kidnapped, but they just got lost."

"That's good to hear," Donna said.

"Everyday now," Josh said in a dark voice.

"Don't think about it, Josh," Donna admonished him.

"I just hate this whole situation," Josh admitted.

"I know," Donna said, caressing his face with the back of her hand. "You should sleep."

"Yeah," Josh said, but didn't close his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Did you speak to Annabeth after Mal left?"

"Yeah, we had dinner together," Donna said.

"How was Mal to her?"

"They had a lengthy conversation. Mal offered her to buy a flat for them from Leo's estate," Donna said with a chuckle.

"What did Annabeth say?"

"She told her she would think it over. She is a proud woman but she has to think about the baby," Donna said.

"Yeah," Josh agreed. "Would you accept it?"

"Annabeth asked me the same," Donna said with a gentle smile. "I don't know, probably. It's not like Leo wouldn't have left them something if he had known about the baby."

"That's right," Josh said.

"She wants to talk to you," Donna said. "But she said it could wait until your appointment next week."

"Was she mad at me?" Josh asked then.

"Because you told Mallory?" Donna asked back.

"Yeah."

"I think she was at first. She is a strong woman, Josh, she doesn't need anyone to fight her fights. Her words, not mine. I told her she could always count on her friends, that's what friends are for. Anyway, Mallory convinced her that it was better this way. Why did you do it?"

"I know Mal," Josh said. "You know her too. I didn't want her to scream at Annabeth. I mean she is pregnant, she doesn't need the added stress."

"You are…"

"I swear to God if you say sweet I might scream myself," Josh said with a smirk.

"Yeah," Donna said with a grin. "Okay, you are very considerate. And a fantastic friend. But I knew that for a long time."

"Really?"

"Josh, you would do anything for your friends," Donna said. "That's one of the things why I fell in love with you. You are very loyal to them, even if they treat you bad."

"Relationships don't thrive on themselves, you need to work on them if you want them to work," Josh said. "One of Dad's words of wisdom."

"Your father was a very wise man," Donna said.

"Yeah, I followed his advice except with one person," Josh said with a sigh and pulled Donna closer. "How could you ever forgive me for that? For neglecting our friendship?"

"Josh," Donna sighed.

"Why did you forgive me for that?"

"Because I knew you cared. And because I love you. That's all the reason I needed," Donna confessed.

"How did you know I cared?" Josh pressed on. "I didn't treat you right."

"Josh. You were there for me when I needed you," Donna said.

"Yeah, grand gestures. Empty grand gestures," Josh said, knowing what Donna was talking about.

"I don't want you to beat yourself up about this. It's in the past, and you learned from your mistakes," Donna said. "And they weren't empty gestures, Josh. You knew the consequences, yet you made those grand gestures."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't think I'm not aware what the diary-debacle could have resulted in. You could have been indicted, Josh! If Cliff would have been your standard Republican, he would have come with the Feds, and they would have indicted me for perjury and you because you wanted to cover it up. And don't get me started on Germany! You left the country while there was an international crisis to deal with. That probably cost you the Chief of Staff-job," Donna said, tears appearing in her eyes.

"I think my nutty outside the Oval cost me the Chief of Staff-job," Josh said. "I still don't know what I would do today if presented with a similar case."

"You would deal with it, Josh," Donna said calmly. "I have every confidence in you as Chief of Staff to the President of the United States. There is no better man for the job."

"Thank you," Josh said, leaning over to kiss her.

Donna was long asleep before his mind shut down too. He was still thinking about ways how to convince her to have a baby eventually. He couldn't come up with any really compelling arguments but he decided he would ask people who have children. That was his plan. He didn't know that Donna already came up with the same plan and set it in motion too. He didn't even think about what the queries (coming from both of them) could do to the rumor mill.

_TBC_

**_So tell me what you think so far. Leave a review, please. _**


	6. Chapter 6

** A Future Worth Living For**

* * *

They decided to table any discussion concerning their future for the rest of the week. They spent the Sunday relaxing at home. They slept in then Donna made lunch. In the afternoon, they watched a movie (during which Josh took a nap, his head resting on Donna's lap) and ESPN (during which Donna finished her book, snuggled up to Josh).

On Monday afternoon, Josh barreled into his office; he was late as it was. His Monday mornings were always the busiest, and this week was no exception. After his security briefing he met with Ambassador Hecht who just kept on harping about the trade deficit and how that must be addressed when the Chancellor comes to meet President Santos.

"Josh," Margaret stepped into his office.

"I'm on my way," he said, picking up his files. His hand was already on the doorknob when he realized that Margaret was standing in his doorway.

"Hi," he greeted her with a smirk. He didn't know what to make of Margaret's sudden appearance in his office.

"You are late for Senior Staff in the Oval," Margaret said.

"Okay, but where is Ginger?" Josh asked her.

"Josh, we don't have time for this. Just go, I'll be here when you come back."

"Okaaaay," Josh said and then entered the Oval Office.

"Josh!" the President greeted him with false buoyancy. "Glad you decided to join us."

"Yeah, Ambassador Hecht is a fussbudget," Josh murmured, eliciting a grin from Sam who heard him.

"Did you just say fussbudget?" Lou asked him, sounding quite repulsed.

"It would appear so," Josh said, throwing her a defiant look. "What?" he asked then defensively, seeing Lou's exasperated look.

"Fussbudget?" Lou asked back.

"It's a word," Josh said, trying to downplay it.

"Yeah, it's a word Annabeth would use, but not you," Lester said with barely hidden mirth.

"Yeah, yeah. Could we not harp on my word usage and dedicate ourselves to the task at hand. We have a country to run," Josh said.

"Josh is right," President Santos said. "We don't want to have a bunch of fussbudgets, formerly known as our constituents, ask us what we wasted our time with while in office."

"Sir," Josh said in a pained voice.

"Okay, Josh, back to business," President Santos said, his face sober.

After the staff meeting Josh returned to his office the long way. He wanted to surprise Margaret, just like she surprised him earlier. He instantly regretted his decision when Amy interpreted it as an invitation to talk to him about the National Service Act that was introduced to the House that morning.

"Amy, we already talked about this at Morning Staff. I have nothing more to add," Josh said, irritated.

"Josh, we need to squash this. I think…"

"Amy, it will never leave the committees, and even if it did it would never pass in the House," Josh said, letting out a tired sigh. It was only Monday and it seemed like it would be one hell of a week. He couldn't have lunch with Donna, and his afternoon was packed with briefing memos and meetings with diplomats.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you," Amy said with a huff and then left him.

Josh arrived at the ante-room of his office with two cups of coffee in his hands, his folders stacked under his arm.

"Hi, Margaret!" he greeted Leo's former senior assistant with a wide grin.

"You cannot have two coffees," Margaret said irrefutably.

"Yeah, one of them is for you," Josh said, handing one cup over to her.

"Thanks," Margaret said, flustered. She was clearly not used to this kind of treatment.

"So… Where is Ginger? Not that I'm not glad that you are here but…"

"She is at the dentist," Margaret interrupted him.

"Did I know about this before?" Josh asked Margaret.

"Yeah, she sent you an e-mail and you even answered her. In fact, that's why I AM here," Margaret said.

"When was this?"

"Yesterday evening," Margaret said. "You were watching ESPN."

"How do you know?" Josh asked, looking at her like she had sprouted an extra head.

"Josh, I work in the East Wing," Margaret said with pride in her voice.

"Really? I didn't know that," Josh said, his eyebrows arched high.

"I think Donna told you," Margaret said.

"Really? I don't remember, but then again, I don't even remember I exchanged e-mails with Ginger yesterday evening," he said with a self-deprecating smile. "So why you? Not that I'm not glad but…"

"You wrote to Ginger that you didn't want an assistant from the temp pool," Margaret interrupted him again.

"And Donna didn't have any objections to you coming over here?"

"I'm a research assistant, Josh. They can go without me for a day," Margaret said.

"I see. But I don't understand why you said no to me when I asked you," Josh said.

"I can't sit here day and night with you, Josh. I have a son, you know," she said.

"Yeah, I know," Josh nodded, and then his face lit up when he realized that he could ask Margaret about kids. "How is the kid?"

"He enjoys life," Margaret said with a gentle smile. A smile Josh had never seen on her face, well, maybe except for Leo. "We found a really good day nursery, but Josh, you should see what's out there!" Her smile quickly disappeared. "I don't make much here, and Alan is not always punctual with the money, but we are lucky. Honestly, I don't know how others do it. And, you know, if Leo hadn't had stepped in, I wouldn't have found a place. There are waiting lists for the good ones, and you don't want to leave the kid at a bad one. You should really do something about it."

"Margaret, why don't you talk to the First Lady about it? I'm sure she would have a sympathetic ear. Not that I don't care, I really do, believe you me, but we focus on schools, not nurseries," Josh said.

"Early childhood care and education is really important," Margaret said and then sat back into Ginger's chair.

"Oh, come on, Margaret!" Josh exclaimed.

"Single mothers have it bad, Josh," Margaret said. "And it's not that I didn't want to marry the father of my child."

"Why didn't you marry him?" Josh asked then.

"He didn't ask," Margaret said in a whisper.

"Really? What kind of a dumbass is he?" Josh asked indignantly.

"He just wasn't ready for a family," Margaret said.

"And you were?" Josh asked, his attention fully focused on Margaret.

"Yes, I guess I was," Margaret said with a nod.

"How did you know that?"

"I didn't want to abort the pregnancy," Margaret said.

"So it just happened and then you decided you wanted to keep the child?" Josh clarified.

"Yes, something like that," Margaret said.

"And would you want another kid?" Josh asked, sounding somewhat eagerly. "I mean if you planned it and thought about it and…"

"What is this, Josh? Donna asked me the same. You are not looking for a surrogate mother to carry your child to term, are you?" Margaret asked bluntly as always.

"God! No! No, no, no!" Josh hurried to deny. "It's nothing like that. I just… You know what, I have briefing memos to read and a country to run. So it was nice talking to you, and I'll call you when I need you."

"Great," Margaret said with a brief nod then settled back and started to type.

At four he had a meeting with the British Ambassador and then President Santos called the British Prime Minister. A call that required Josh's presence. After that he had a meeting with the Russian and Chinese Ambassadors, a meeting he absolutely had no desire whatsoever to attend, and so he told Margaret when he left his office for the Roosevelt Room. After that he was so tired that he told Ginger (who came back while he was in the meeting) to go home and he went home too.

"I'm home!" he shouted when he stepped into their flat and for a minute he mused about how small it seemed. He thought that maybe they should look for either a bigger apartment or a small house.

"Me too!" came Donna's usual reply, making Josh smile. He liked these rituals. No matter what happened, no matter what problems they had, these rituals signaled that they were still 'working', that they still had the desire to make it work.

"Hi!" he entered the living room where Donna sat, reading her book, sipping on her tea.

"Hi!" she looked up from her book and leaned back to accept his kiss. He sat down next to her on the couch and pulled her into his embrace.

"Hard day?" Donna asked.

"That's an understatement," Josh said with a sigh as he pressed his forehead to hers. "What are you reading?"

"Labyrinth by Kate Mosse," Donna answered.

"That supermodel wrote a book?" Josh asked back.

"Okay, I know that you usually don't have time to read anything but memos and reports and newspapers, but this book is the latest bestseller. The author was with Larry King the other night," Donna said.

"So it's not the supermodel?" Josh asked her with a teasing smile.

"Definitely not, especially because she writes her family name with an e at the end," Donna informed him. "They are both English, though."

"Is it any good?" Josh asked her.

"Yeah, I think it's better than The Da Vinci Code," Donna said.

"Really?" Josh asked back. "I guess I have to read it then."

"You would?"

"I can't promise that we could discuss the book next week but maybe next month," Josh said.

"That would be nice," Donna said with a smile. "But I should warn you, it's about two women."

"And they fall in love?" Josh asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"No, Josh, one of them lives in the 13th century, the other in the 21st, but it's about the Holy Grail," she said.

"Okaaaay," Josh agreed.

"You don't have to read it if you don't want," Donna said. "I just finished Madeline Albright's memoirs, we can discuss that."

"No, I would like to read this Labyrinth. Where does it play? England?"

"No, France."

"Okay," Josh said. "After you read it you can lend it to me."

"Will do. Do you have much work to do?"

"Some reading. General Alexander suggested I read some books on military strategy," Josh said. "I told him I already read Sun Tzu, he suggested von Clausewitz."

"You should," Donna nodded. "You should read it and then forget it. Sun Tzu is better."

"You already read von Clausewitz?" Josh asked taken aback.

"I did. After Gaza," Donna said. "I was on a military kick."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I read a lot of things on military tactics, even Caesar but then I discovered Shakespeare again, and the military thing became boring compared to him."

"Shakespeare?"

"Yeah, I started with Julius Caesar and Antony and Cleopatra and then some of the Henrys. After a while I had enough of the tragedies and pulled out the comedies. That was around the time I started to work for the Santos campaign. That was the time I started to heal. Shakespeare helped me."

"Really?"

"Really," Donna nodded. "That's why I keep reading, I think books can take off the edge of the day."

"I see. Although for me, it's you."

"Really?" Donna asked with a slight smile.

"Yeah, the nearness of you," Josh confessed in a whisper.

"Come here," Donna said but then leaned closer to Josh and kissed him. "I love you."

"And there is that. That's the ultimate highlight of my day," Josh said.

"Mine too."

"I love you, Donatella Moss," Josh said. "Let's move."

"To the bedroom?" Donna asked with an arched eyebrow and a twinkle in her eyes.

"No," Josh shook his head and Donna's face fell. "I was thinking about moving. You know, looking for a house and moving the furniture."

"Oh, that kind of moving?" Donna said, her voice even, not betraying her emotions.

"Donna, we agreed that you won't try to conceal your emotions anymore," Josh said. "Just let it out. What do you think?"

"You want to move into a house?"

"Or into a bigger flat. This was okay for a single person, but I think we outgrew it."

"I like this flat," Donna said.

"So you don't want to move into a bigger house?" Josh asked.

"I didn't say that. Is this really about the size of the place?"

"Sure," Josh said.

"Really?"

"Okay, last week I thought this place is cozy and I thought we should consider moving once we had a kid, but tonight I stepped into flat and I realized that we outgrew this place and we should get a bigger flat or a house," Josh rambled.

"I think this place is pretty cozy and I don't want a house, Josh. I like it here," Donna said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Donna said.

"It's just occurred to me that maybe you want to invite your friends over and this is not a big place."

"Okay," Donna said. "That might be true, although I seem to remember that you entertained Sam, CJ and Toby here. It was enough then, it should be big enough for my friends too."

"That's settled then," Josh said.

"You don't mind?"

"No," Josh said. "To tell the truth, I couldn't make time for the search and I'm pretty sure you would want me there with you."

"That's for sure," Donna said with a smile.

"Good then. I think I will take a shower and then drag von Clausewitz here," Josh said.

"How was dinner?"

"Yeah, Ginger brought me a fish with rice thingy," Josh said.

"Was it okay?" Donna asked.

"It was actually better than a tuna sandwich," Josh admitted.

"Because it wasn't tuna," Donna said.

"How do you know?"

"I had the same. It was haddock in lemon juice served with rice," Donna said.

"Oh."

"I just thought you might want to try something else than your usual turkey sandwich."

"It was delicious. Thank you."

"I missed having lunch with you," Donna admitted.

"I missed it too," Josh said and pulled her closer to him. "I missed you today," he added after he kissed her.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**A Future Worth Living For**

* * *

Josh hurried into his office, barking orders at Sam and Amy as he went. Three Congressmen jumped ship on the Better Education for Everyone Bill and that made him livid. Sam nodded at his suggestions, Amy scowled, but then both of them left in a hurry, promising him to get the votes back. Ginger was standing next to her desk, waiting for his orders. 

"Get me the weather report," Josh said and then stormed into his office.

"The Weather Report?" Ginger asked from the door. "I don't recall this report. Did we issue it?"

"Ginger," Josh said with a scowl, but then a grin appeared on his face. "I think CNN, ABC and NBC issue them daily. Go, give them a call," he said.

"You really want the weather report?" Ginger asked back, sounding incredulous.

"I really want the weather report. Preferably for the next three days. Oh, and threw Fox in there, their weathermen always beg to differ."

"For the D.C. area?" Ginger asked.

"Yeah, for the nation's capital, Ginger," Josh said with a smile.

"Okay," Ginger said. "Hey, how was the shopping?"

"It was good. I know it's a lot to ask and I really should do it on my own, but Higgs, Johnson and Tucker jumped ship and I'm kinda busy…"

"Are you coming to a point sometime soon?" Ginger cut him off after letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, could you call that flower place? Let them deliver some nice flowers to Annabeth."

"You want a card?"

"Just something simple. Like, 'Thank you. Josh.' Yeah, that'll do."

"What kind of flowers?" Ginger asked.

"I don't know, Ginger, do I look like a botanist or a horticulturist?" Josh asked impatiently.

"They have meanings, you know," Ginger mumbled, taken aback by his tone.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not angry with you, I just hate Higgs, Johnson and Tucker, but they are not here. Get some nice flowers. Research their meanings and get something that says thank you."

"Okay," Ginger said, perked up by the apology.

"Thanks, Ginger. And get me the Majority Leader on the phone first," he shouted after her.

"Sure," Ginger hollered back.

After his phone call with the Majority Leader he met with the President and then had lunch with Donna. He was itching to show her the ring he chose but wanted to make the proposal magical for Donna. So he waited. After lunch he had a meeting with the Secretary of Education.

"Sam just got back Higgs," Josh said when Ginger handed him a slip of paper in the middle of the meeting.

"That's great," Patrick Peterson said. "I could talk to Troy."

"You know Troy Tucker?" Josh asked back curiously.

"Yeah, he married my ex-fiancée," Secretary Peterson explained with a grin.

"The world is just a big…" Josh said, looking for the right term.

"I think you are looking for the term 'soap opera' there, Josh," the Secretary said.

"Yeah," Josh said, returning the grin. He liked the guy. "And there are no hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings, he was the winner of that. Sheila is a great woman," Peterson said. "I wish I had realized that back in the days."

"You married now?"

"Why Josh, you don't have my FBI-files at hand?" Peterson joked.

"I don't remember every detail," Josh retorted with a shrug of shoulders. "I was just looking for criminal records when I went over those files."

"Ah, I see," Peterson said. "I have a wife. Soon to be ex-wife."

"Kids?" Josh asked.

"Two girls. Age eight and six. They are probably the reason why this marriage lasted as long as it did," Peterson admitted honestly. "We are still discussing custody."

"It must be hard on them," Josh mused aloud.

"Yeah, it really is. But we decided that living in a hostile environment might be harder and more damaging."

"That's probably true," Josh said.

"They are the joy of my life," Peterson said in an almost whisper. "I don't want to be a Sunday dad. I want to see them every day. I want to know what excites them, what makes them cry, I want to be there to pick them up if they fall, and I want to be there for them when they need a father to listen to their problems."

"I see," Josh said with a sigh. "Well, we'll try to get back Johnson or get someone else. Please keep us updated on Tucker."

"Will do," Peterson said and then stood to leave Josh's office. "And don't worry about me, Josh. I won't try to rekindle my relationship with the wife of a United States Representative."

"Well, I like you Patrick and I don't want to tell you how to live your life," Josh started saying, "but if you do anything damaging to the President or his educational agenda I'll make sure that you are not only fired but also buried, never getting any kind of job offers for the rest of your life."

"I'll keep that in mind, Josh," Peterson said with a grin, and Josh nodded at him.

"Your 3 o'clock is here!" Ginger entered his office.

"I thought I didn't have any more meetings today," Josh said, looking down at his printed schedule.

"Yeah, the Congresswoman asked for ten minutes," Ginger said simply.

"Which one?" Josh asked, taken aback that Ginger didn't clear a meeting with a Congressperson with him first.

"Wyatt," Ginger said.

"Oh, okay. Send her in, please," Josh said, standing up to greet Andie.

"Josh, I hope it's okay." Andie stepped into his office and shook his hand. "I told Ginger I needed ten minutes, and she said if it was urgent I should come by today."

"Yeah, the next couple of days gonna be busy."

"I heard you got Higgs back," Andie offered.

"Yeah, Sam's really getting into the game," Josh said with a smile. "So, what do I owe the honor?"

"Well, I'm here in both personal and professional capacity," Andie said.

"Okay, let's start with the professional one," Josh said with a smile.

"I'm hearing about a Terrorism Prevention Act being introduced in the near future," Andie said.

"Who…" Josh wanted to know.

"Tracey and Hanson," Andie supplied the information.

"Thanks for the tip off," Josh said.

"I don't want that bill near Capitol Hill, Josh," Andie said. "And I think the President is the same opinion."

"He is. I am," Josh reassured her.

"Civil liberties will be trampled on, Josh," Andie prophesized.

"Andie, you are preaching to the choir," Josh said.

"Okay. My personal agenda. I wanted to thank you for talking to Bob," Andie said with a hint of a smile.

"He is my friend, you know," Josh said.

"Despite the brawl and the other thing?" Andie asked bewildered.

"He is my friend and I don't have too many, so I try to hang on to them," Josh admitted.

"I see," Andie said and fell silent after that.

She was probably thinking about Toby and how he landed himself in this mess, Josh mused. Whenever he heard Toby's name he had to think about the same things. Why did he do it? He didn't dare to ask him again. He just hoped that one day Toby would tell him why.

"Andie, I have a very private, and I daresay prying, question. And you don't have to answer at all; indeed, you can say go to hell, Josh. It's just there are several thoughts swirling in my mind and…"

"You have to speak some of them out loud or else there is an overload?" Andie asked with a tight smile.

"Yeah, something like that," Josh said with an apologetic smile in return.

"Fire away," Andie encouraged him.

"Have you ever regretted having his children?" Josh asked then bluntly, deciding that after that foreplay he didn't need any small talk to introduce the question.

"It's a pretty gutsy move to ask something like that," Andie said.

"So I should go to hell?" Josh asked with a smirk.

"I realize it was something others mulled over last year while I was running for Congress," Andie said. "You are the only one who dared to ask the question, and that's why I'm going to answer, Josh. No, not for a moment. Would it have been easier if I hadn't told a soul who the father was? Sure. Would it have been more convenient to ask someone else to donate the sperm? Sure. But I never wanted any other guy for to be the father of my children. That's why I went ahead with the in vitro, even after the divorce."

"Thanks," Josh said quietly.

"I have a meeting at the East Wing," Andie said, rising to her feet.

"With Donna?" Josh asked her.

"Yeah. I'm still on the Foreign Affairs Committee, and there is word on another CoDel to Israel," Andie said.

"Are you going?" Josh asked, he felt his heart rate climbing and bile rising in his throat.

"Yeah, probably. I'm the Chairwoman of the International Relations Subcommittee on the Middle East and South Asia, Josh. If there is a CoDel to Israel, it's most likely they want me on it," Andie said. "I just don't want Donna to find out from CNN."

"She'll appreciate that," Josh said with a nod.

"Yeah. I'm sorry," Andie said and then was gone.

Around half past eight, Josh realized that it will be a long night. He called Donna that she shouldn't wait up for him. She told him she had a hunch after watching the news and asked him if he wanted her to go back to the White House, but Josh told her that at least one of them should get a good night's sleep. There was a suicide bombing in Jerusalem that left three American soldiers dead and two seriously injured. Although there was not much to do, Josh decided to wait in the Situation Room for further news. The President wanted to know whether the bomber especially targeted the American soldiers, and Josh wanted to tell him in person. Besides, he was never able to sleep when Israel was concerned and he didn't want to disturb Donna's sleep with tossing and turning in the bed. Around four, they finally knew that indeed the American soldiers were the targets. After they saw the suicide bomber's message on Al-Jazeera, Josh knew he had to go home. He had to see with his own eyes that Donna was okay.

"I'm home," he whispered into the air, not expecting an answer.

"Me too," Donna responded in a raspy voice, and Josh could hear that she was crying. He shed his coat and shoes in record time and was at her side in the living room in a second.

"Honey," the term of endearment slipped out as he gathered her in his arms. He held her as she sobbed into his shirt. "I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner."

"I'm glad you are here now," Donna said in a muffled voice. Her head was still buried in Josh's shirt.

"I'm here, I'm here," Josh repeated.

"Hold me tight, Josh," Donna said.

"I've got you, honey," Josh murmured into her hair and rocked her gently.

Her sobs subsided ten minutes later, and Josh was finally able to get a good look at her face. He felt his heart clench at the sight. Her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, and there were black rings under them from the lack of sleep. But the fear he saw there, that was the worst.

"You want to stay at home today?"

"Nah, I don't want to be alone," Donna said.

"I could stay at home with you," Josh offered, but Donna shook her head.

"It's sweet of you to offer, Joshua, but he needs you today. Maybe after this is over?" she asked, hope replacing the fear in her eyes.

"Definitely," Josh said. "We could go away for the weekend."

"I don't want to go away, I just want us to be together for a whole day," Donna said.

"Okay," Josh agreed.

"Oh, and I really hate to do this to you, but I think you should hear it," Donna said. "I want you to prepare yourself for the worst. Toby called. He spoke to the answering machine."

"Donna… I don't want to see you more upset. I'll call him back later."

"Josh, I doubt he would accept your calls today," Donna said after a sigh. "And compared to the message that glorified Kahlil Nasan, I think this is pretty much entertaining."

"Okay, let's hear it," Josh said.

"Oh, and he started speaking before the beep," Donna said when they heard the message they recorded welcome the caller.

…hope you are not hiding behind the answering machine! Anyway, I don't want the two of you interfering. And Donna, I hoped you were different, I hoped you wouldn't resort to tag-teaming. I don't know where the two of you take the nerve to… Anyway, stop it! Otherwise I'll sic every officious woman I know at you. And you better believe that I know a few of them. You think that article in that rag was bad? Would you like to answer questions like, 'When do you make an honest woman of that girl, Joshua?' or 'When is the wedding, Donna, darling?' Ad nauseam, I can promise you that. SO STOP MEDDLING! AM I UNDERSTOOD?

Josh laughed out loud when he heard the word officious. He was in stitches when he heard Toby's imitations.

"That 'honest woman' line was so spot on for my mom," he said, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the tears.

"Yeah, and the other one was Congresswoman Leachy," Donna said with a grin.

"The old bag asked you that?" Josh asked taken aback.

"Yeah," Donna said. "At the Inaugural Ball."

"How many asked you that question since then?"

"Two or three…" Donna said. "Hundred," she added then with another grin.

"Oh, man!" Josh said.

"Apparently they think that we have been dating since the second year of the Bartlet Administration."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's the consensus. At least, that's what Andie told me. There were speculations about the campaign, but they dismissed it because you were together with Mandy back then."

"And what do they say about our relationships with other people?"

"Yeah, apparently your on-off dating with Amy is the best fuel they have," Donna said with a hint of a frown. "They say that whenever we had a tiff, you went to Amy."

"What?!" Josh cried out.

"Yeah," Donna said with a nod.

"Okay, I don't want to hear about this nonsense anymore," Josh said. "What do we do about Toby?"

"Nothing. Give him a couple of days, and he will calm down."

"Okay," Josh agreed. "But what brought this on?"

"You asked something about them?"

"If she ever regretted having his kids," Josh said.

"I asked her about the kids too," Donna said.

"Margaret told me something," Josh said, suddenly remembering something from his conversation with the assistant. "You were asking her about kids, too."

"Yeah," Donna admitted. "And Annabeth. And Helen. And a couple of others who already have kids."

"Really?" Josh asked in an even voice. He didn't dare to hope.

"Really," Donna said with a nod.

"And?" He decided to throw caution to the wind and ask her flat out.

"And I think this is a conversation for that day we are spending together," Donna said.

"Oh, okay," Josh said, his voice devoid of all emotion.

"Josh, don't do this," Donna warned him. "We'll talk about it. I want to tell you why I didn't want kids and…"

"You said that in past tense," Josh interrupted her.

"Yeah," Donna said, a smile appearing on her face.

"Okay, I need to take a shower and then get back to the office. You want a ride?"

"Sure," Donna said. "Do you have time for a quick breakfast?"

"If it's not oatmeal," Josh shouted back on his way to the bathroom.

_TBC_

**_If you like the series, please leave a review. Is it still worth your time reading it. _**


	8. Chapter 8

**A Future Worth Living For**

* * *

The rest of the week, the weekend and the better part of the next week went on in a haze. Josh didn't remember single events, just the endless hours spent in the Situation Room. He spent more time down there than in his office and of course almost no time at home. Donna understood, even brought new shirts for him every morning. In return, he was worried about her; she looked pale every time she came to his office for a quick lunch break. Hating the thought of leaving her alone for the nights, he managed to convince her to sleep over at Annabeth's but he could tell she was still having nightmares; the dark circles around her eyes grew day by day as the suicide bombings continued, leaving five another Americans dead, one journalist and four soldiers. There was public outcry for retaliation but President Santos remained determined to stay on the peaceful course. His address to the nation helped to calm the emotions running high. And then it went as it came, unexpected, unexplainable. The bombings stopped and normalcy reigned again. Or so they thought. 

The bombings stopped but there were lingering issues they had to attend to, so they still couldn't think of having a day to themselves, although the thought of the upcoming discussion was ever-present in the back of Josh's mind. He stopped asking questions around, but he unconsciously watched his staffers with kids, how did they manage the pressure, how did they find the balance. He also watched Sam, how he was handling the requirements the job entailed. His friend kept better hours than he did back in his Deputy Chief of Staff days, but lately he spent more and more time at the office. Josh didn't want him to commit the same mistakes he did and decided to step in. He wanted to talk to him after the day's first Senior Staff meeting. Sam usually stayed five minutes to chat, but not this morning. Indeed, he left the office in a hurry, leaving even before Lou who was usually first out of the door.

"Ginger, I want to talk to Sam," he told his assistant when he arrived back from the Oval Office where the National Security Advisor held the first security briefing of the day. "At his earliest convenience," he added then as an afterthought.

"Okay," Ginger said with a nod and returned to her memo. Josh went back into his office, but then turned sharply and was again at her desk in a minute.

"And you should take the day off," he said, taking in the exhaustion on her face. She apparently took lessons from Margaret and Donna because she refused to leave his side, saying she would go home when he went home.

"I don't see you taking the day off, Josh," she said, turning back her attention to the file in front of her.

"I will, this weekend. Even two days if I can manage," Josh promised her. "But you know my policy about one of us always present in the office, so you should take the day off, I will ask Margaret to fill in. And come in late tomorrow," he ordered, his voice indicating he tolerated no protest.

"Okay," Ginger said. "I will ask Margaret to come over, and I will call Sam's assistant to let her know you want to talk to him."

"Good," Josh said and returned to his office.

Fifteen minutes later, Ginger entered his office.

"Margaret will be over after lunch. I can stay until then and…"

"No, you are going home. I'll manage on my own for three hours," Josh said. "Did you manage to reach Sam?"

"Yeah, he was on his way back from the Hill, he is coming over in ten minutes," Ginger said with a nod. "Oh and here are the weather reports for the weekend. Sunday looks like a winner," she added with a smile, but then her face became serious. "I doubt you have seen the DC Daily today, so the article in question is under the weather reports. Annabeth and Lou are coming over in an hour."

"Thank you, Ginger," Josh said, and Ginger left after saying goodbye. Josh took a minute to mull over how lucky he was for having such a dedicated assistant. For a passing moment he felt remorse for missing the chance to tell Donna how much he appreciated her when she did everything to make his life easier, anticipating his every need. But it was all in the past, and he never intended to make the same mistake now that she was his girlfriend. He looked over the weather reports, and they seemed to agree that Sunday would be a clear day. Josh wanted to take Donna to the Botanic Garden and have coffee at the Mall later or if the weather didn't play along to the National Gallery of Art to have a late brunch there. He knew she said she just wanted a day in, but he really wanted to have Saturday off too. However, he decided to ask her later if his plans were okay with her.

At last, he took a deep breath and reached out for the article Ginger clipped for him. It read, "Stormy Seas for Secretive Staffers."

"Why is it that they always go for alliterations?" Josh asked Sam, looking up from the folder for a second. His friend looked unusually rumpled. He was clutching a coffee cup in one hand and a stack of folders in the other. Even if he hadn't seen the coffee in his hands, his eyes and face would have betrayed the exhaustion that seemed to make his shoulders sag.

"You read it?" Sam asked, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Just reading it." Josh held up the clipping. "So that's why you avoided me this morning?"

"Josh, I'm handling it," Sam got defensive.

"Yeah, I believe you. What did Lou say?" Josh asked his deputy.

"She asked me whether it was true that Anna had dinner with another man," Sam said, sinking into one of the visitor chairs.

"And what did you told her?" Josh asked warily, thinking that his two co-workers might have had a fight because of that question. He would have told Lou where she could go if she had presented him with that question.

"The truth," Sam said, and Josh noticed the sadness in his eyes. Maybe it wasn't exhaustion that made his shoulders droop; maybe it was defeat that radiated off of him.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Josh mumbled.

"Well, she was unhappy with the allegations in that other rag, and we had a big fight over it," Sam said, taking a nervous sip from his coffee, but Josh saw the knuckles of his other hand whiten as he gripped the folders resting on his knees tighter.

"And?" he pressed on.

"She wanted to get married, and I just couldn't set a date, Josh," Sam said with a sigh.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know when the next crisis strikes!" Sam exclaimed.

"I know it's hard, but Sam, I know you. You can prioritize," Josh said.

"Yeah, apparently that office comes with a curse on personal relationships," Sam said.

"I told you to choose another office," Josh quipped but then regretted the little remark immediately, he didn't want to seem insensitive when Sam was there to share his problems.

"Yeah," Sam said, apparently not minding Josh's 'open mouth, insert foot' moment.

"Yeah," Josh repeated lamely because he didn't know what else to say.

"But hey," Sam said with fake cheerfulness, "at least you can have a private life. They are focused on me for the time being."

"I will call them and…"

"No, Josh," Sam said. "Don't make yourself the target again. Lou and I can handle this. Besides, it's not like it's not true."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Sam spoke up again.

"I knew she was unhappy here," he said in a low voice. "I knew it yet I chose to ignore it. I convinced myself it was just the new city, the completely different situation, she would get used to it and then we would be just as happy as we were in California. But deep down I knew she wasn't happy. She took the bar exam and aced it, but didn't want to look for a new job. That should have been the first warning sign. I said she was a trooper but I only deluded myself. She hated it here."

"Where is she now?"

"That man you saw in the picture is her ex. He was in New York for a case or something and decided to visit her. He was here for three days, and they had lunches and dinners together. She left for California this morning," Sam recounted.

"Sam, don't blame yourself. At least, not for all of it. She should have said something, she should have worked on it, she should have forced you to work on it," Josh said.

"Yeah, all the fight left her after that article," Sam said.

"I'm sorry I went with the silent tour but I thought…"

"Josh, I know that was the best course of action. I was Deputy Communications Director once; I know what the right thing to do is."

"Okay," Josh agreed.

"That's the second engagement I managed to botch up," Sam said with a sigh.

"Yeah, but it's still better to botch up an engagement than a marriage complete with kids," Josh imparted his opinion.

"You mean they weren't meant to be?" Sam asked, and Josh saw hope returning into his eyes.

"Yeah, I mean exactly that. Maybe they weren't meant to be. Maybe you should find someone who accepts you the way you are," Josh said.

"That's why you are ready to marry Donna?" Sam asked him.

"Yup," Josh confirmed. "She accepts me the way I am, and I accept her the way she is."

"Although there is not much to accept from her," Sam mused aloud.

"Yeah," Josh said, not wanting to tell Sam about their problems. It was something they had to talk about first. Maybe after that he could confide in Sam.

Josh thought that Annabeth and Lou wanted to talk about the article about Sam's ex-fiancée but they sought him out because Annabeth's neighbor was contacted by a journalist. The two of them suspected that he had Annabeth's pregnancy and they wanted to warn Josh. He told them to warn Lester and then let them handle it. He simply didn't have the capacity to think about these things. His presence was still required in the Situation Room, besides he had to kill Tracey's and Hanson's hare-brained idea, the so-called Terrorism Prevention Act that resurfaced after the latest events in Israel. It had to be him, Sam had his hands full with the Better Education for Everyone Bill that just got out of Committee, and Amy still occupied herself with the National Service Act. Josh let her because the dangerous idea of the Terrorism Prevention Act was something that needed to be crushed by someone who was able to wield the full power of the White House.

He sent Margaret home around seven, and he was just planning on leaving when Sam barreled into his office. Josh had a strange sense of déjà vu, especially after hearing Sam's words.

"Lou is coming," his deputy announced, still out of breath.

"Okay, let's not make a habit of this," he quipped when Lou arrived.

"I don't know what to say, Joshua, but either there is a vengeful God against you or you have a mortal enemy whose single purpose is to destroy you," Lou said in a dramatic fashion Josh never heard from her.

"I thought Sam and Annabeth were the targets today," Josh said.

"Yeah, it might be true for today, but I managed to obtain an early advance copy of tomorrow's DC Daily. And all of you are mentioned," Lou said, handing over a folder each to Sam and Josh. "I'm going over to Annabeth's with Sam, and you are going home, Josh," she said, snatching the folder back from his hands. "Do not read this until you got home. Read it together with Donna and decide on the course of action together."

"Lou, you are scaring me," Josh said with a fake chuckle.

"Yeah, I didn't want to, but Josh, believe me, you don't want to read this until you got home. Promise me you won't do it," Lou insisted.

"Okay, I promise," Josh agreed.

"Good, now call Ollie and let him bring you home," Lou suggested, and Josh nodded. He stuffed the folder into his backpack and then took off for home.

He desperately wanted to read the article in the car but he promised Lou, plus he didn't like reading in the car. He didn't know if it was okay to show Donna an article he didn't have the time to digest beforehand but he was sure if someone was able to handle this kind of thing it was Donna. She was a strong woman. But he also knew how emotionally fragile the recent events in Israel and the messages of the suicide bombers left her. He wanted to spare her this, whatever the 'this' might be.

"I'm home," he shouted, his voice unconvincing even to his own ears.

"Me too," Donna shouted back. She hurried out of the kitchen to greet him with a kiss. "Hi. How was your day?" she asked him, thrusting a bottle of wine into his hands to open it.

"Considering the last few days, it was better. But on the other hand it sucked," Josh said, and while they moved back into the kitchen, he removed the foil from the bottle's neck.

"I met Sam in the afternoon, he was coming back from the Hill, and we had a coffee together," Donna said, and put a new tablecloth on the table.

"I hope he took decaf, he was high on caffeine before noon," Josh told her as he took the bottle opener out of the cupboard drawer.

"Yeah, I made him drink decaf, I actually noticed the signs of too much caffeine in his veins," Donna said, watching him for a moment. "He told me about Anna. She gave up pretty fast."

"Yeah, makes me wonder why she said yes to his marriage proposal," Josh remarked, after he managed to remove the cork.

"I think she was on the rebound, the guy left her, she found Sam, Sam thought it was time, Anna said yes to show the guy she was fine without him," Donna summarized while she put two plates on the table.

"Yeah," Josh agreed while taking two wine glasses from the kitchen cupboard.

"Did you manage to strike down that preposterous idea of Tracey and Hanson?" Donna asked him after she pulled out the lasagna from the oven.

"Your man is still the old fox, Donatella," Josh said while he was filling the glasses.

"Yeah, except they never called you an old fox, but I seem to remember the terms 'pit bull' and 'juggernaut,'" Donna quipped back and sat down.

"Well, then I'm still the juggernaut," Josh acquiesced, taking a seat too. "I killed the act before it learned to walk."

"Good," Donna said, picking up her fork, "Andie will be happy."

"Did she tell you that the CoDel was back on schedule?" Josh asked her, folding a napkin on his lap.

"Yeah, she called me after I came back from the Hill," Donna said. "Oh, there is an event for the First Lady and we would like the President attend too. It would be fantastic if he came to the charity night for Children with ADHD," Donna said.

"You are working on that now?" Josh asked back perplexed after swallowing the first bite of his lasagna and taking a sip of his wine. He didn't know about this. He thought Donna was helping out with the Better Education for Everyone Bill. The First Lady wanted to be involved in that.

"Yeah, it came to our attention while we had talks with groups who advocated that the bill should have a specific section dedicated to learning disabilities. The speaker of this group made a good impression on the First Lady; she said she didn't know how to help but that she wanted to help. They were already organizing this charity event, so I said yes," Donna explained.

"Okay," Josh nodded. "I guess the President can attend but we need to stress that it's the First Lady's agenda."

"I know. He can't be seen as partial to some disease and ignore the other," Donna agreed.

"Are you going?"

"They invited me too, yes," Donna said.

"Would you like me to come?" Josh asked then.

"Would you like to come?" Donna asked back.

"Of course," Josh said. "Aside from the fact that I would miss you that night and that I like seeing you in a fancy dress, it's a good cause."

"You know someone with this disease?" Donna asked him with a frown.

"There was a boy in my class in high school, he was diagnosed pretty late, but at last it explained his restless behavior," Josh recounted.

"Yeah," Donna said with a nod. "What's up in Israel? Can you talk about it?"

"I have nothing that wasn't in the news," Josh said. "There is no group who claimed responsibility. It seems that there was the first suicide bomber who cited Nassan as a martyr who died for the right cause, and that triggered the other bombings."

"It is far more difficult to unearth a dozen wise men than a hundred fools," Donna quoted.

"Who said that?" Josh asked her.

"Lenin," Donna said with a sheepish grin.

"You are quoting Lenin at our table?" Josh asked in mock indignation.

"Well, you once made me take a meeting with a Communist," Donna said with a full-fledged smile.

"Yeah." Josh grinned back, and then they continued their dinner, talking about some old stories that made them laugh.

Josh felt relaxed but knew that eventually he had to bring up the new article. He poured some more wine and directed Donna into the living room. He waited until she took place on the couch and then sat down next to her. He pulled his backpack closer and fished out the folder Lou gave him.

"There's gonna be an article in the morning DC Daily," he began.

"About Annabeth, I know," Donna said.

"Yeah, that's what they thought, but it's actually about us," Josh added.

"Is it bad?"

"I don't know, Lou asked me not to read it until I got home," Josh said.

"So it's bad," Donna drew the conclusion.

"Yeah, I guess so. You want to take a look or should we do it in the morning?"

"No, let's get over with it. Maybe it will give me new nightmares, I'm pretty fed up with the old ones anyway," Donna said.

"Donna…" Josh sighed.

"Okay, that was a bad joke, but Josh… What can they do to us? We love each other. We want to marry. They can't do worse than two gunmen and a madman with a roadside bomb."

Josh nodded in agreement and then opened the folder. Donna leaned over, supporting her weight on Josh's right side while they both read the article, elegantly titled as "Stormy Seas, Take Two." The most ridiculous allegations were presented as the truth, and sometimes Josh didn't know whether to laugh or curse out loud. It basically said he didn't want to marry Donna because they couldn't conceive a child. He was having a kid with Annabeth who he intended to marry, a clearly indication being that he took her ring-shopping last Tuesday. Apparently he didn't intend to live with his child and the mother but with Donna who was dubbed as his long-term girlfriend. There were apparently no hard feelings between the women in his life, as proof for that they had a photo of Donna entering Annabeth's house with the petite blonde. The caption read: 'Lyman's women. Long-term girlfriend, Donna Moss and wife-to-be Annabeth Schott arrive at home of Schott's for a night of girl talk.'

"This is so far out of this galaxy… Who would believe this?"

"The public who is educated on soap operas," Josh said, painting a dark picture.

"Really, Josh, this is such nonsense," Donna said, but Josh saw that her smile was not exactly genuine.

"I know," he sighed. "Lou said we should decide on a course of action."

"I think it's still better not to say anything. They will have their surprise when we marry. Until then let them believe what they want. I doubt they really want the truth," Donna said.

"Yeah, it's just Annabeth… And Leo… And Mallory… And…" Josh said, his thoughts jumping from one thing to another.

"Yeah, I know. We'll talk to Annabeth but I refuse to act weird around her," Donna said. "We became friends in the last months; I'm not jeopardizing that by letting this stupid article loom over my life."

"Okay, we'll talk to Annabeth but we don't want to refute this and Lester should still stick with the official White House line?" Josh asked for her confirmation. She nodded in agreement. "Okay then" Josh nodded too. "Listen, we should get some rest, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

"It's only ten, Josh," Donna responded surprised.

"I didn't say we should sleep, I just said we should get some rest. Take a nice, long bath. What do you say to that?" he suggested.

"You don't like taking nice, long baths, Joshua," Donna reminded him.

"I like taking them if you are with me in the tub," Josh said with a wolfish grin.

_TBC_

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_**I hope it was worth the waiting. It's a long chapter and I was working on it pretty long and pretty hard. So tell me what you think, please leave a review.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**A Future Worth Living For **

* * *

Josh entered the Oval Office five minutes after he arrived back at the West Wing. The President's personal aide phoned him when he was on his way to the Russell Building to talk to the Senate Majority Leader; his presence was required as soon as possible. The meeting with Hendrickson was the first of the day, so he just checked in with the White House but didn't go in. 

"Good morning, sir," he greeted the leader of the free world.

"Good morning, Josh," President Santos returned the greeting and stood up. He rounded his desk and sat down on of the chintz armchairs next to the couches. He waved Josh closer and pointed at the couch. Josh was inclined to refuse but then thought otherwise, because you don't say no to the President of the United States.

"Thank you, sir," he said and sat down.

"Josh, Ronna showed me an article in the DC Daily," Matt Santos said.

"Mr. President, everything is under control," Josh said and hung his head. He took it as a personal failure whenever the knucklehead stuff landed on his boss' desk.

"Josh, I don't know what to say," the President said and then sprung up. He looked down at Josh who cringed slightly under his scrutiny. He knew he looked tired. Hell, he was tired. He had to wake up early to have a conference call with Annabeth, Lou and Lester. They had to talk before the White House Press Corps attacked Lester during the morning gaggle.

"Sir, let me handle this," Josh said, standing up too.

"But, Josh," the President protested.

"It will go away, sir. I apologize but I'm sure they'll have other things to concentrate on; we have the confirmation process, the BEE-bill, plus Israel and Kazakhstan. It will go away, sir," Josh said.

"Josh, did I hear you right, you've just apologized?"

"Yes, sir," Josh said. "My personal problems distract the media from your agenda and I would like to apologize for that. I hope it will blow over in a few days. I already talked to Lester; he will stick to our message. So will Annabeth."

"Josh, I know you are a dedicated servant of the American public and me, but you are allowed to be angry about it," President Santos said, putting a hand on Josh's shoulder.

"I know, sir. And believe me, I was. I still am," he added then honestly. "I just don't see what I could do to make it go away."

"What about the truth?" Matt Santos asked.

"Yeah, we contemplated to come clean but we doubt they want the truth. They didn't contact us before publishing the article, and that means they are not interested in what we might want to say, sir."

"What about Annabeth?" Santos asked.

"Yeah, she wanted to tell them who the father was but Donna managed to convince her not to," Josh said and let out a tired sigh.

"You look tired," Santos remarked then with a frown.

"I am tired, sir," Josh admitted. "With your permission I would like to take Saturday and Sunday off."

"Of course, Josh," Santos said. "Are you planning to leave the D.C.?"

"No, sir. We just want to spend some uninterrupted time together," Josh said, not even knowing why he was telling it the President. Usually he wasn't so forthcoming about his personal life. It must be the exhaustion, he decided.

"That's good, Josh," Santos said with a nod, and Josh was glad he understood.

"I would like to call Amy, Edie and Sam in, sir; they want to brief you on the confirmation," Josh moved on to safer pastures.

"Okay," Santos agreed, and Josh stepped into his room and asked the three to enter the Oval Office. He stayed too; the morning Senior Staff meeting having been pushed back because of his appointment with the Senate Majority Leader, he hadn't heard yet what they had to report.

They were getting closer and closer to March and they still didn't have a Vice President. Josh set Edie, Sam and Amy on the task. Edie, being the point person with Eric Baker's staff, said they were ready for the vote although Sam voiced his doubts whether they got enough votes.

"What are you talking about, Sam? We have the votes. According to the last nose count we have the votes," Amy said with a huff.

"Amy, by enough Sam meant enough for a win," Josh tried to explain.

"And I meant that too," Amy retorted, looking at Josh as if he had lost it. "We have the votes to confirm him."

"Amy, the confirmation is not a win," Santos explained.

"Oh my gosh!" Amy exclaimed. "You are all deranged! With all due respect, sir, do you think anybody will remember in three months with what margin they confirmed him? We will have a Vice President, that's what counts," Amy insisted.

"Amy, in this town people have long memories when it comes to political wins… or losses, for that matter," Santos said. "You want to know how many Democrats questioned me why I wanted to hire you? They all remembered your lost cases and none of them remembered the ones you won," he added then. "Should they confirm him, I want it by a wide margin. I would like to have a unanimous confirmation but even I am not that deluded."

"Sir…" Amy wanted to say, but Josh interrupted her.

"Yes, sir. We'll continue to work on it. Thank you, Mr. President," Josh said, ushering the three of them out of the Oval Office.

"Amy, you can't talk to the President like that," Sam warned her when they arrived back in Josh's office.

"He has to know when he is wrong," Amy retorted.

"Yeah, you made your point–although I might have phrased it different, but it was enough to let him know that you don't agree with him," Josh said.

"He has to…" Amy wanted to continue, but Sam interrupted her.

"No, he really doesn't, Amy," he said. "He is the only one who got elected. He will be the one judged later. Not you, not me, not Josh, he. And you might want to remind yourself next time you are standing in that office where you are and who you are talking to. Matt Santos might like being informal with us, but when he is in that office he is the President of the United States, and you'll talk to him with due respect."

"Okay, okay," Amy said, lifting her hand to stop Sam. "Enough. I get it. Now, what do we do?"

"I want to talk to Holovson, Edie," Josh said, turning to Edie Ortega. "I talked to the Senate Majority Leader this morning; he wasn't sold on the idea of Eric Baker as Vice President. I want to know why, but he didn't want to tell me. And I think he made some behind the scene phone calls and that's why we won't have a clear win. So I want an answer to the why-question by the end of the day."

"We'll work on it, Josh," Sam said, and the three of them left Josh's office.

"The Chairman is here," Ginger announced General Alexander.

"General," Josh greeted the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, and his typical day began.

He had two more meetings before noon, one with Baker's Chief of Staff who sounded convinced that his boss would be confirmed despite that Josh voiced his doubts and told him about his meeting with the Senate Majority Leader. The other was the Israeli Ambassador who became a regular visitor in the past few days. At that point, he wanted nothing more than to go home and crawl into bed, but he had several afternoon meetings, which he couldn't postpone. He was able to keep his lunch hour with Donna, fortunately a close second to leaving for home.

"I met Sam on the Hill earlier," she said. "We keep running into each other, and he suggested maybe we should take some meetings together on the BEE-bill now that it is out of the Committee. To show unity, he said."

"It's a good idea," Josh said with a nod after taking a bite of his chicken salad.

"He told me you still have problems with the confirmation," Donna remarked. "I thought you had the votes."

"We have the votes, but it's not enough for a win," Josh explained, and Donna nodded. "They are not sold on Baker, but _he_ persists," he added, signaling with his head whom he meant by the _he_.

"Yeah, I know."

"I don't know. Maybe it's not even worth the fight. I mean look what former Vice Presidents had to say about the job," Josh said with a sigh. "_The most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived._"

"_Not worth a pitcher of warm piss_?" Donna offered another quote.

"Exactly," Josh said with a grin. "So why risk the President's political capital on this? Why fight for a man whose only job will be to go to funerals and weddings?"

"Well, he is the second in the presidential line of succession," Donna mentioned seemingly offhanded.

"Yeah, there is that," Josh admitted. "But we need all our clout for the BEE-bill. We can't waste it on this."

"Maybe you should talk to him about choosing another candidate," Donna offered.

"I tried," Josh said, indicating with a shake of his head that he failed.

"Did you know that there were three Vice Presidents named Johnson? And three of them were born on August 27," she said with a grin.

"So you are basically saying I should look for a guy named Johnson who was born in August?" Josh asked back in mock-seriousness.

"On the 27th," Donna added without a hint of a grin or a smile.

"Any other requirements?" Josh asked while his face remained expressionless as well.

"Yeah, I heard he must be at least 35 years old," Donna kept up the mock conversation. "Also a Crank, a Criminal, a Tax Cheat or a Golfer," she concluded, referring to the title of a book about former Vice Presidents. At that they both burst out in laughter.

Donna stayed for a while, and they tuned in to Lester's briefing after lunch. As expected, a lot of questions were asked about them. Lester refused to answer them and tried to steer back to this week's message, the education bill left the committees.

"He is getting fried," Sam said when he stepped into the office.

"Yeah," Donna and Josh agreed with dark faces.

"Did you ask him?"

"Yup, he said it was a good idea," Donna said, casting a quick glance at Josh who nodded, signaling that he still found it a good idea. "Next week we should take some of the meetings together. Zelda should call me, and we can work out which ones."

"Okay," Sam agreed, and then Donna left. "I'm the bearer of bad news, but please, don't shoot the messenger.

"What's up?" Josh asked him.

"Baker won't be confirmed. He had something to hide after all. The Senate Majority Leader has it and he had several meetings in the last days," Sam imparted.

"What is it?"

"They had an illegal alien as his chauffeur," Sam said.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Josh shouted.

"It's true. Hendrickson's Chief of Staff told me," Sam said.

"No doubt?" Josh asked.

"They are pretty sure. It's like Clinton's Baird-nomination all over again," Sam said.

"Did he forget to mention this during the vetting process?" Josh asked, his anger boiling under the calm surface.

"Yes. Josh, it can mean that he didn't know about it. Baker is better than to keep something like this. They had a pretty big staff in the Governor's Mansion, his Chief of Staff did the hiring," Sam said.

"Holovson?" Josh asked back with a frown.

"No, the former one, a man named Peter Gibson," Sam read aloud from his notes. "He was fired for gross incompetence, but nonetheless…

"Yeah. The 'I knew nothing about it' line won't fly, especially after the wife-debacle," Josh said. "Okay, you have to tell the President, my next appointments should be here in two minutes."

"Okay," Sam agreed and after knocking on the door, he stepped into the lion's den. Josh greeted the Kyrgyz, Turkmen and Uzbek ambassadors, all representatives of the neighboring states of Kazakhstan. He was relieved that his former 'transgression' of sending pizzas to the Turkmen office at the UN Headquarters in New York went untouched. Before setting up the conference, he briefly debated whether he should invite the Turkmen party at all, but then the Deputy NSA reminded him that 'His Excellency, Saparmurat Niyazov Turkmenbashi, President of Turkmenistan' died back in December.

At the end, he had to cancel two of his meetings that afternoon because Eric Baker came over and President Santos asked him to sit in on the meeting. After Baker left they quickly mulled over why the Senate Majority Leader didn't came out with the information, and decided he probably wanted to hurt them after they put out Baker's name officially. Most likely he wanted to milk it and maybe derail their agenda. It was a big setback, and Josh saw that the President was disappointed. After telling him not to think about it until Monday, Josh sent Matt Santos to his family and reminded him that he wouldn't be in for the rest of the week. He told him to call if he had someone on mind and suggested to look over Carol Gelsey's file again, knowing that Amy's first question on Monday would be if they considered Gelsey.

While he was stepping out of his office Lou stopped him, she wanted to tell him about her staging a rescue mission for Annabeth. Apparently the Fourth Estate was camped outside her home and Bram and Otto brought the First Lady's Press Secretary to a hotel. Josh was glad he convinced Donna of waiting for him in her office, although he knew that the Secret Service wouldn't allow the press to come too close, he was worried that they might swoop on Donna if she left for home alone. In the car he laid out his weekend plans for her approval, they would spend Saturday in and then on Sunday he wanted to take her out.

"Is that wise, Josh?" Donna asked him before agreeing to his plans.

"Donna, you said you didn't want this to loom over your life. Neither do I. I want to take you to the Botanic Garden and have coffee at the National Gallery of Art. If you don't want to, fine, but if you don't want to because of the article then I have to draw a line," he said.

"I like your plans," Donna said and after giving Ollie a quick glance, she kissed him.

"Good," Josh said and leaned back, feeling content.

"Will there be journalists outside of our home, too?" she asked then.

"Not too close," Josh said. "Secret Service took care of that," he added with a slight smile.

_TBC _

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_**A/N: I had some problems with the uploading of my documents so hence the lateness of this chapter. I hope you still enjoy the story. Chapters 10 and 11 will be up in the next days, I hope. Until then, I shall await your reviews with bated breath. ;)**  
_


	10. Chapter 10

**A Future Worth Living For **

* * *

"Good morning," Donna greeted him with a big smile when he awoke on Saturday morning.

"Morning," he croaked. "You up early," he remarked, glancing at his watch.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep anymore," Donna said. "We didn't listen to the answering machine yesterday evening. You up to hear Toby groveling?" she asked with a smile.

"Don't tell me he believed those things," Josh said, rubbing his eyes.

"No, he didn't, but he was sympathetic about the media circus," Donna said.

"Later," he said with a moan.

"Okay, you want to go back to sleep or…"

"Or what?"

"I thought we could talk," Donna said.

"Let me have a shower and coffee and then we can talk," Josh said, and Donna leaned in for a quick kiss.

"You want me to wash your back in the shower?" she asked after pulling back.

"I thought you wanted to talk," Josh said, climbing out of the bed.

"We have all the time of the world," Donna said, pressing a kiss on his shoulder.

"Then I'm all for a 'recreational shower,'" Josh said with a wolfish grin, and they both entered the bathroom.

After the shower, they were drinking their coffee in the living room and Josh noticed that Donna had been working. Her laptop was lying on the coffee table; three or four folders were neatly stacked next to it.

"You were working?" he asked, trying to mask his hurt. He thought it was 'their' day. No work, no other people.

"Told you I couldn't sleep," Donna said. "I thought I might do some research."

"Okay," Josh said, disappointment seeping into his voice.

"Josh, you were sleeping, I had nothing to do," Donna defended her decision. "And I did it for you," she added with a smile.

"You did research for me?" Josh asked back with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah," Donna said, standing up. She gathered the three folders from the chair and gave it to Josh.

"We should talk before I get to this," Josh said, laying the folders aside. He immediately recognized that he did what Donna hoped he would do because she sent him a bright smile. "Last time I wanted to talk about our future I couldn't say everything I wanted to. I don't think I have another presidential campaign in me," he said, looking into her eyes. "I was wound so tight, and I don't think that after my 'stint' as Chief of Staff my stress level should reach such heights again," he admitted. He saw that Donna wanted to say something but he waved her off. "Let me finish. I might help out with re-election, but it's up to you the next time. I think you have it in you, I think you can direct a presidential campaign. And after re-election you'll have four presidential campaigns to be proud of. You will be an even more powerful operative in the Democratic Party than you are now, and I think you'll find the next real thing after Matthew Santos. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be there for you when you do, and I will support your decision should you choose to run someone's campaign."

Donna looked at him with an unfathomable look in her eyes. It made Josh squirm before she spoke up.

"Josh… I don't know what to say. I've never thought you would say something like that to me. And yes, that means that maybe I didn't trust you the same level you trusted me. But this thing, this speech you made here, in our home, means a lot to me, Josh. Thank you," she said, leaned over and kissed him.

"I know I didn't exactly show my appreciation when you were my assistant or when we campaigned for Santos, but Donna, you made my life easier ever since we met. I could be the political operative I was because of you. I was… I am a better human being because of you. Heck, you reminded me to be a human being not just a political animal. I don't think I ever told you I was proud of you when you stood up to me. After the pain and the hurt subsided, of course," he added with a self-deprecating smile.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Donna said, although she already apologized for that during their trip to Hawaii.

"And I'm sorry I hurt you," Josh whispered back.

"One day, maybe I'll find the next real thing," Donna said with a little smile. "But if not, I'm not going to regret it. I will have known two presidents, who were the real things, and it's an incredible privilege to know them both and I'm thankful for that. And I know that I'm there where I am because of you, Josh. I will never forget that. You were a good teacher."

"And Will?"

"It was a joke. A hurtful one, I admit, but it was a joke, Josh. Surely you knew that," Donna said, looking him straight in the eyes. "Or not. Judging by the look on your face you didn't. Oh, Josh, you were my teacher, not Will. Although I learned from him a lot. Mostly what not to become, how to be a political animal without losing your humanity."

"I think you learned that from my mistakes too," Josh said.

"Josh, sometimes you got tunnel-visioned, sometimes you had to be the one among the Senior Staff to advocate those tough decisions, but you actually listened. Listened to Sam, listened to CJ, listened to me," Donna said. "Will never listened to me."

"You didn't want him to go public about Dotty Baker's illness," Josh said.

"Yeah," Donna confirmed.

"I went with it to the Congressman. He refused to use it," Josh said. "But I tried to convince him, Donna. I'm sometimes a political animal without the soul."

"Yeah, but you usually keep people around you whom you listen to and who are able to find the balance, Josh. Yes, sometimes your monomaniacal tendencies get the better of you. But your dedication to serving the President and the American public is enviable," Donna said.

"They think I do it for political gain," Josh remarked.

"Yeah, they will notice when you won't run for office after your 'stints' at the White House," Donna said. "You still don't want to, right?"

"Right," Josh said. "I don't know, maybe if you ever wanted to move to Connecticut, I could run for Mayor of Westport or some other town, but nah, nothing big."

"Okay then. Let's talk about kids," she said. "As you know, I didn't want to have children for a while."

"Why not?"

"I already told you that sometimes, I felt like I can't love you the same way I used to love you. I thought if I kept one tiny part of my heart to myself, if I held back just a little bit, you wouldn't be able to hurt me. But then I realized that it was still the unconditional type of love. I would still love you even if you hurt me and even if you said one day you didn't love me anymore," Donna said in a low voice. "That gives you power over me. And that power scared me sometimes because I was afraid that you could hurt me. And I guess you were right, I didn't trust you enough. Certainly not to a level where I could have told you about my anxiety. I know I should have said something but I just couldn't. Because making that confession would have been voicing my feelings, feelings I tried to bury deep in my soul. Because I loved you and I didn't want to lose you," she said. "However I came to the realization that no matter what, no matter if I gave you the 100 percent Donna or the 95 percent Donna; you would still be able to hurt me."

"Donna…" Josh said, a bit taken aback by her confession.

"But I know that you wouldn't do anything deliberate to hurt me. I know that, I always knew. Sometimes, you hurt because you were hurting or in pain, physical or emotional but there were no deliberate acts, never, so I know and I guess I always knew," she asserted. "I just had to accept the risks. I just had to accept that yes, there was a possibility that I could end up with my heart ripped apart. But I also understand now that I have to take the risk, I have to dive in if I ever wanted to experience the happiness I always strove for," she said, and Josh took her hand in his. "I just had to mull things over. I'm not afraid anymore, Josh. I want to enjoy life with you. I want to become your wife, I want you to know that I stopped looking too, you are the one I want for the rest of my life."

Josh lifted her hand to his lips, and kissed the bottom of her palm. Then he pulled her onto his lap and held her close, they both kept their silence for a minute or two.

"You might want to know how that relates to having kids," Donna said, breaking the silence.

"I think I have a pretty good idea. You were talking about unconditional love. That's the type of love a parent experiences," Josh said. "You were afraid of our kids having that power over you too."

"Yes, Josh, that's one dimension I was afraid of. As I told you earlier, it doesn't scare me anymore. The other part I already talked about. Sometimes, I feel detached; sometimes, I feel like this cold person who can't find any warmth in her. And I feel anxious about that too."

"That's still an issue, right?"

"Yup. The other one, I really believe my heart and my mind agreed and moved on. This one, it stayed with me. It's still with me. I will give you the one hundred percent Donna, I just don't know if I could do that with any other person," Donna said. "I have to accept that this will be a part of my life. A nice reminder of that roadside bomb," she added with a self-deprecating smile.

"Well, I have the nightmares and you have this insecurity and anxiety," Josh said. "We are quite a pair."

"That we are," Donna agreed just with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"So you want to have kids?" Josh asked her, his gazed directed at her lap where their hands were lying, joined, caressing the other.

"Yes, I want to have kids with you, Josh," Donna confirmed.

Josh looked into her eyes, trying to ensure that it was something she wanted to do, and not just did because he wanted it. Donna was right, he would never hurt her deliberately, but Josh vowed to try not to hurt her at all. He knew that trying was going to be the best he could do. He could have vowed not to hurt her for sure (and he would have seen it through), but he knew that wouldn't be for the best because then he would have to hold back. And holding back was no option. He was sure they could weather anything (they already did in a fashion, they just had to get better at it), but holding back was a sure way to doom the relationship. So he had to accept that he was going to hurt Donna occasionally, by his insensitiveness, by becoming tunnel-visioned or by the lack of time for personal matters that came with the job. But he also had to accept that she could hurt him just the same, by not letting go of some topic or another he didn't want to do anything with, by the silent treatment he hated so much or by giving him the cold shoulder. But he was convinced if they didn't hold back they could make it work. It was basically what they agreed to on Hawaii. They both broke that promise since then, and that resulted in hurt and disappointment.

"We should renew our promise of not letting anything come between us, no insecurities, no anxiety, no false heroics, no jobs, no other persons," Josh said, echoing their words they said in that hotel room back in November.

"I promise," Donna said solemnly, and Josh repeated her word the exact same way.

"When?"

"When what?" Donna asked back.

"When do you want to have kids? And is it really plural?" Josh added as an afterthought.

"Yes, it's in plural. As for the when, well, when?" she said, sending the ball back into his court.

"After re-election?" Josh asked her, sounding hopeful.

"That'd be okay," Donna said with a nod. "I think we should call our…" she added then, but the phone rang, interrupting her effectively.

"The answering machine can pick up, it's 'our' day," Josh said, holding her back.

"Joshua Lyman, here is your mother. In case you forgot about my existence, I'm the woman who was in labor for almost six hours before you thought you'd grace the world with your presence," Rebecca Lyman's voice carried through to the living room. "Anyway, I would have really appreciated a heads-up about this, Joshua. I bet Donna had a full schedule this week because otherwise she would have called me, although technically it's not her job to call and warn me about this preposterous article in that rag that calls himself a newspaper. Betty Schreiner came by earlier and showed me her copy, asking if I was disappointed that you'd never give me grandkids. I would have told her where to stick her nose but she is close to 85, so I let it go."

"Maybe you should pick up," Donna said, breaking their silence.

"Oh, that machine cut me off. Anyway, when are you making an honest woman out of that girl, Joshua?" his mother asked. "And I don't mind not having grandkids as long as I know that you are happy. And Donna makes you happy. So, when do I see a ring on her finger?"

"Nah, we will just let her wear herself out," Josh said. "I'll call her tonight, I promise."

"Okay," Donna said with a nod. "I will start lunch, you want to take a look at my research?"

"Yup," Josh said, lifting the folders into his lap. "Stay with me," he asked her. "I really would like this to be 'our' day."

"Okay," Donna agreed.

"We'll order something super healthy," Josh reassured her. "Why are there three folders?"

"One is for serious candidates, one is for candidates I would like to see in that office but wouldn't be probably confirmable. And the third one is fun stuff."

"Fun stuff?" Josh asked back.

"Yeah, I picked Congresspersons and Senators and Governors over 35 whose name was either Johnson or were born on August 27," Donna said with a grin.

"You didn't!" Josh exclaimed incredulously.

"Yeah, I really did," Donna said, the grin never leaving her face.

"Any overlappings?" Josh asked her.

"Yeah, Lisa Johnson from Arkansas," Donna said. "She is in the second group though. Dems don't like her that much and she is a torn in the Republican's eyes. I followed her career for sometime now, she is principled, she is disciplined and determined to make the world or at least the country a better place for her kids."

"But she would be worth the fight?"

"I think so. But you'll read her file and you can tell yourself. I only did the research, you have to decide."

"Thanks for the research, and be ready to discuss candidates with me in the next couple of days, I want to hear your opinion on whomever we choose," Josh said.

"Okay," Donna answered simply.

_TBC _


	11. Chapter 11

**A Future Worth Living For**

* * *

Monday morning Staff came and went, and even Lou made a remark how disgustingly relaxed and happy Josh looked. Sam's head shot up at the comment, and Josh saw his best friend throwing a scrutinizing look at him. He nodded and Sam nodded back, that was all they needed. The others left ten minutes later, after Amy finished her rant about Carol Gelsey and Josh reassured her that he told the President to look at the file over the weekend. Sam hung back like he always did. 

"So… What did you do over the weekend?" he asked, clutching the ever-present folders to his chest.

"Saturday was Josh-and-Donna-day. We didn't even answer the phone. No other people, just us. It was good. We talked a lot. She was perceptive of my idea of her finding the next real thing," Josh told Sam.

"Really?" Sam asked back.

"Yeah," Josh nodded.

"You don't want me to find the next real thing?" Sam asked back unsurely.

"Sam, you are not the guy behind the guy type of politician. Sure, you are Deputy Chief of Staff now, but come re-election I'm sending you on your way," Josh said with a slight smile.

"You are sending me back to California?"

"I don't know yet," Josh told him. "Maybe to Connecticut or Pennsylvania or… No matter where, you'll run for Senator or Governor, and the President will help you."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm sure," Josh said convinced.

"And what did you do on Sunday?"

"We went to the Botanic Garden first and then had brunch at the National Gallery," Josh said. "Donna was pretty impressed."

"I can imagine that." Sam grinned.

"Yeah, we visited one of the exhibitions, had a late lunch, took a long walk around the Pool and then watched the sunset at the Tidal Basin."

"Very romantic," Sam said.

"Yeah, although by that time we were pretty cold so I skipped the Jefferson Memorial part of my plan and took her home. And then I asked her again, she said yes again, and I gave her the ring," Josh described.

"Really?" Sam asked back with a smile. "Good for you, Josh."

"Yeah, I'm pretty lucky," Josh said with a matching smile.

"What are you planning for Valentine's Day?" Sam asked him then.

"Oh, crap!" Josh exclaimed. "It's this week, right?"

"Right," Sam nodded. "On Wednesday."

"Maybe just flowers. I think I was pretty romantic over the weekend."

"I guess Donna won't mind, but they have to be pretty impressive flowers, Josh," Sam said.

"I'll let Ginger research their meaning," Josh said. "Ginger!" he shouted.

"You bellowed." Ginger stepped in and threw a smile at Sam before turning to Josh.

"I need some research," Josh said.

"Weather reports?" Ginger asked with a grin.

"No, the meaning of flowers," Josh said. "Could you print something out and bring it to me at the end of the day?"

"Of course," Ginger said. "Dr. Becker is here," she told him then.

"Send her in, please," Josh said.

"Sam," the Surgeon General acknowledged Sam as she stepped in.

"Dr. Becker," Sam returned the greeting and then stepped out.

Josh's meeting with the Surgeon General lasted almost half an hour, after which he was called to the Situation Room. There was an assassination attempt on Chairman Farad's life. As a result, Israel and Palestine once again resembled a powder keg, ready to go off in a blazing inferno any minute. He didn't even have time for lunch with Donna. After he emerged from the bowels of the White House he met with Lester and Lou to brief them about the situation.

"Where are we on the Vice President?" Lester asked him at the end of their meeting.

"Well, Baker can't be confirmed so we were rightly cautious to release his name. We are still looking," Josh said. "We'll try to come up with a name by the end of the week."

"Okay," Lou said with a nod.

"There is a copy of Donna's research for each of you. You can ask Ginger for it," Josh informed them. "If someone strikes you as a likely candidate don't hesitate to tell me."

"Donna did a research on vice presidential candidates?" Lou asked him.

"I'll let you know she was the best researcher at the White House in her Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff days," Josh said defensively.

"And I don't doubt that, I just thought she had better to do than helping us with this," Lou said.

"Well, yeah, I think she wanted to help me," Josh said with a grin and then stood up to leave.

"I hope you'll do something very romantic for Valentine's Day," Lou called after him.

"Yeah, I already did," Josh called back, and then turned back too. "But I'm sending flowers."

"So you gave her a ring?" Lou asked him.

"Yup," Josh confirmed, turned again and then left for his office. He ran into Ainsley on his way.

"Hey, Josh," Ainsley greeted him with a smile.

"Hi, Ainsley. You are coming to visit me?" he asked with a smile. He smiled a lot this day, except when he was in the Situation Room, he mused for a moment.

"No, I had a meeting with Amy about the language of the Waste-Bill, and I'm on my way to the Mess," Ainsley informed him. "How are you?"

"Good. Should you have asked this morning I would have told you fantastic but since then Israel and Palestine happened again."

"Yeah," Ainsley said with an empathic nod. "Hey, I met with Donna this morning, she invited me to an event at the East Wing, and while I was there I couldn't help but notice the very nice ring on her finger. Congratulations."

"Thanks," Josh said with a grin. "Did she tell you about yesterday?"

"Indeed she did," Ainsley said with a smile. "Apparently you planned a very romantic weekend."

"Indeed I did," Josh answered. He accompanied Ainsley to the Mess, and they argued about the BEE-bill a bit. Then he went back to his office and found Donna and the President there. Both of them had a folder in their hands.

"Hi," Josh greeted them.

"Josh, tell me again why we can't snag Donna from Helen?" President Santos asked with a grin.

"You wouldn't hear the end of it, sir," Josh retorted. "Besides, it's irreversible as of yesterday. Not that it wasn't before, but it's official now," he rambled on.

"Yeah, I saw Donna's ring. Nice choice," Matt Santos told him. "Josh, did you know that there were three Vice Presidents named Johnson?"

"Yes, sir, I did," Josh said, glaring at Donna.

"It would be a nice tradition to continue. And I bet Amy would be off your back about Carol Gelsey if we chose Lisa Johnson," the President said.

"Yes, sir," Josh agreed. "You are seriously contemplating Ms. Johnson? I can ask Edie and Sam…"

"I don't know yet, Josh. I think I will retire to the Residence with this," the President said, holding up the folder.

"Alright, sir. Have a nice evening."

"You'll call if something happens over there?" the President asked, his hand already hovering over the doorknob.

"Of course, sir," Josh reassured him.

"Thank you for this, Donna," the President said with a slight nod as he tapped the folder in his left with his right palm. "See you tomorrow."

"Have a nice evening, sir," Donna returned. Then, after turning to Josh, she asked, "Do you have to stay the whole night?"

"Yup," he confirmed and then watched in awe as Donna made herself comfortable on his couch.

"What?" she asked him as he was staring at her.

"You are staying too?"

"Of course, I'm staying," Donna said as if that were the most self-evident thing on the whole wide world. She toed off her shoes and pulled the folder onto her lap. "You want to spend the night in that chair?" she asked him then.

"Not when I have you on that couch," Josh said, and quickly made his way over to her.

There was a single knock on the door, and Ginger stepped in.

"You should head home," Josh told her.

"You have to stay here tonight," Ginger answered.

"I'll stay," Donna inserted.

"Okay then," Ginger said with the hint of a smile. "Josh, I put the thing on my desk. Just circle the items, and I'll take care of it tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Josh said, thankful for Ginger's use of code-words. "Have a nice evening."

"Thanks. Try to get some sleep. Bye, Donna!"

"Bye," Donna said her goodbyes and then turned to Josh. "Margaret says it was Jessica."

"Jessica who? And what did she do?"

"Your typist, Jessica. And she was the one who sold the story to the DC Daily," Donna explained.

"Makes sense," Josh said after thinking about it for a minute. "She was there when I had that discussion with Margaret. She probably overheard the thing about Annabeth."

"What are you going to do?" Donna asked him.

"It's not like I have tangible proof," Josh said. "I'll try to move her someplace else when this ordeal is over."

"Okay," Donna said with a nod.

"What are you reading?" Josh asked her.

"I'm looking into some memos for the First Lady's bill."

"You already set your eyes on something?" Josh asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Yup, Helen said I didn't need to sit around and wait for her to settle in, that's not why she hired me. I was trying to find something she could back, and then Margaret came to me about daycares and nurseries."

"You think they'll fund another education bill after the BEE-bill?"

"Probably not, that's why it won't be about early childhood education, I told Margaret we'll look into that next year. We want to possibly tackle adoption. Maybe some regulation about national and international adoption. There are still more than 100,000 American children waiting to be adopted, yet last year there were more than 20,000 children adopted from foreign countries," Donna said.

"You want to forbid international adoption?" Josh asked with a frown.

"No, far from it. But, you know, some people adopted two-three children from foreign countries. Why don't they take an American child and two foreign children? I know they want to help, but there are children in America who really should have the chance to grow up in a family," she argued.

"I don't deny that. But you know that most of them, I mean the ones who don't get adopted, are older. People like to adopt younger children, babies," Josh said.

"I know," Donna said with a sigh. "And I know adoption is problematic. But I think we should do something."

"You should probably look for some Representatives who adopted, or were adopted," Josh said. "But I guess you already thought about that," he added then when he saw Donna's glare.

"Yup, but thanks. I don't know yet, maybe there will be something else I feel strong about," Donna said with a sigh.

"Okay," Josh said.

"Did Annabeth ask you?" Donna asked after a few minutes of silence.

"About the custody thing?" Josh asked.

"She asked," Donna drew the conclusion. "Did you say yes?"

"Yeah, I said yes," Josh said. "I know we just had that talk, but Annabeth don't have living relatives who could take care of a baby and I would never be able to leave Leo's child in an orphanage. You know that."

"I know," Donna said with a sigh.

"Listen, Annabeth is a healthy woman, she told me her ob/gyn said everything was okay. Nothing to worry about," Josh tried to reassure Donna.

"I just don't know what happens if something happens to Annabeth."

"We could take care of the child, Donna. There would be compromises just like if we had a child on our own," Josh said. "Did she ask you?"

"Yup. And I said yes too," Donna said with a sad smile. "I just don't want to…"

"Let's not talk about this now, Donna," Josh said. "I said yes because Annabeth was clearly worried about this and because I would never leave Leo's child in the lurch, but I don't think we have to step up. We'll help Annabeth as friends do, we'll be there for her and we'll take care of her child should the worst happen."

"Okay," Donna said and returned her attention to her memos. Josh pulled her feet into his lap and propped up his memo against them.

_TBC_

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for all the feedback so far, keep it coming, your reviews still make my day. :) A couple of angsty parts will follow. _


	12. Chapter 12

**A Future Worth Living For **

* * *

Josh arrived at the White House in quite a mood. He tried to remember the good days of the last months, Inauguration Day, the weekend he spent with Donna, the day Vice President Marino was sworn in and the day the BEE-bill passed in both the House and the Senate. He somehow had to muster up the strength that would get him through this hell of a day. He woke up early to find his bed empty, showered alone and drank the first coffee of the day (decaf) alone. To put it simply, he missed Donna. 

Ginger must have arrived mere minutes before him because her tea was still hot but she was not at her desk. She was probably with Ronna, synching the President's schedule with his. Josh hoped the new girl in the office was proactive enough to brew coffee first thing in the morning. He went over to the coffee pot and let out a disappointed sigh. There was no coffee in sight. He decided to go down to the Mess although the coffee there was nowhere near the coffee they could prepare in the office. He ran into Ainsley on his way back and asked her to accompany him to the Senior Staff meeting. He knew Leo never invited Lionel Tribbey or Oliver Babbish to Senior Staff meetings but he wasn't Leo, which was clear for everyone who bothered to take a closer look. He liked having Ainsley there; she kept them on their toes. Lou and Sam had many a debate with her, and Ainsley was especially talented when it came to show Amy the error of her ways. Josh enjoyed it the best when Ainsley and Donna joined forces at the staff meetings. At that thought his face darkened again.

"Who killed your puppy?" Lou asked him when he and Ainsley stepped into his office.

"He misses Donna," Ginger, who was there to take the minutes, piped up.

"Donna is away with the First Lady," Sam explained at the same moment and then grinned at Ginger, who grinned back.

"Okay, we have a country to run, people," Josh ended the conversation-on-the-side.

"The Terrorism Prevention Act learned to walk, Josh," Edie told him.

"I know, Andie Wyatt already told me," Josh said with a sigh. "I managed to convince Tracey and Hanson to drop it but I forgot about Henry's love of everything anti-terrorism."

"Yeah, we have to squash this," Lou said.

"I'll take care of it," Josh promised her. "Okay, where are we on the Prime Minister's visit? Bram, everything okay on the protocol-side?" Josh asked the young man.

"Yep," Bram said. "We met with the ambassador's people and worked out the details."

"Okay. Sam?"

"I met with the ambassador, and we agreed on the talking points," Sam said. "May I just state that she is not as much fun as Lord Marbury had been."

"You prefer a lunatic?" Amy asked him.

"He was colorful," Sam retorted. There was little love lost between him and Amy these days. Josh never asked for the reason but he didn't mind as long as they were civil enough to each other and worked well with each other.

"Okay, Amy and Ainsley, I want you with me when I talk to Senator Henry," Josh said, looking at Amy and then at Ainsley. Amy made a grimace, Ainsley only nodded. "Sam and Bram, I trust you with this meeting with the Prime Minister but I want a memo on the preparations and the talking points. Before I forget, Bram, call Margaret Hooper and ask her who runs the preparations for the Prime Minister's visit at the East Wing."

"Why?" Bram asked back.

"Because the Prime Minister is bringing her husband, and they are probably taking care of that end of the visit. I bet they already talked to someone at the British Embassy, but I want you to ask. Be nice, Margaret is a friend of mine," Josh said with a grin.

"I know," Bram said with a matching grin.

"Edie, who is running for Tillman's seat?" Josh asked Edie. The Governor suffered an unexpected stroke and died a week ago. The White House sent Sam for the funeral and Josh asked Edie the previous day to feel out the DNC.

"They say they don't have to decide for a while and are keeping their options open. The lieutenant-governor acts as governor until then," Edie reported.

"Okay, it's not our job to find a candidate, but if you find someone, Edie, feel free to slip me the name and I'll talk to Barry Goodwin."

"Okay," Edie said with a grin. Yes, the position of the Governor of California was a highly precious one to lose to the Republicans.

"Okay, I think we've covered everything for today," Josh said. "Sam, Ainsley, please stay. Amy, we'll meet you after lunch."

"Okay," Amy said and then one by one they filed out of his office.

"What's up, Josh?" Sam asked him.

"I'm taking some Cheese Day meetings next week. I just wanted to ask you whether you two want to participate," Josh asked them.

"Count me in," Ainsley said with a smile.

"Yeah, me too," Sam said with a smile on his own. "You don't want to make this obligatory?"

"Somehow, I can't imagine Lou and Amy taking Cheese Day meetings. I asked Donna, she, Annabeth and Margaret said yes. We'll keep this to ourselves. If someone wants to join us, they are welcome, otherwise it's our thing."

"Okay," the other two said with a nod.

"Ginger will make a list. We'll do it every third month," Josh said.

The two nodded and then left the office.

"Well, what did they say?" Ginger asked him as he stepped out of his office.

"They are in," Josh said with a grin.

"I scheduled one for myself, if that's alright with you," Ginger asked.

"Of course," Josh said. "This will be a crappy day," he said then with a sigh and retreated into his office while Ginger sat back to type one of his memos with a slight grin appearing on her face.

His crappy day consisted of briefing memos, a meeting with the Secretary of Labor and the HUD-Secretary. When Donna told him about her travel plans three days ago, he told Ginger to schedule a lunch meeting for him; if he couldn't eat with Donna he could at least do something productive. He and the President ate in the Residence with Nancy McNally, who flew in from New York for the day. They talked about Kazakhstan and Palestine. Nancy left after lunch, Josh and the President stayed on, sipping on their waters.

"We are quite pathetic," Matt Santos broke the silence.

"Yes, sir," Josh agreed with a grimace.

"Next time, we should schedule something and just travel with them," the President suggested.

"Good thinking, sir," Josh said with a smirk. "I…" he wanted to tell him how he hated this day when his pager went off. "I have to call back, sir."

"Okay," the President said and motioned him to the phone next to the cupboard.

"It's me," Josh informed Ginger.

"A Dr. Hughes called me; apparently Annabeth missed her check-up in lunch break. I called over, and Margaret told me they hadn't seen her since eleven when she told them she would take a long lunch break and go to the doctor," Ginger rattled off. "I called her cell, but no one picked up. I paged her, but she didn't answer that either. I called her flat but I got the answering machine."

"Okay, try the whole procedure again," Josh said. "But first put me through to the MPDC."

"Okay," Ginger said.

Two minutes later, Josh was talking to the Chief of Police Leslie Baynard. She wasn't as compliant as he expected. He briefly wondered what the Chief would do if he sicced the President on her, but he didn't want to piss her off in case he really needed her later. But apparently the President thought otherwise, he pulled the phone from Josh's hands and asked the Chief to report to the White House at her earliest convenience. By his tone Josh assumed that they would talk to the Chief in a few minutes.

"I thought Annabeth went with Helen and Donna," the President said as they made their way back to the West Wing.

"Me too," Josh said but he was preoccupied. His mind filled with scenarios, one more horrible than the other.

"Josh, don't you get into a tizzy over this now. We need to keep a clear head in case something really happened to Annabeth," the President warned him.

"I have an overactive imagination," he explained.

"I know," the President said and flashed a grin at him. "Try to stay calm and let me talk to the Chief."

"Of course, sir," Josh said with a nod.

"I mean it, Josh. We don't want to piss her off, we might need her later," the President pressed on.

"I know, sir," Josh said and then reached out for his Blackberry. He dialed his office, "Hi, Ginger, any news?"

"No, still no answer. Margaret is here, we are trying simultaneously," Ginger informed him.

"Okay," Josh said and then shook his head when the President looked at him with an arched eyebrow. "It's not like Annabeth," he said in a low voice. "She would have told me if she wanted to take the day off. She knows I worry."

"We'll find her, Josh," the President tried to reassure him.

"She is pregnant," Josh told him in a low voice.

"I know," the President said with a sigh.

Ron Butterfield was waiting for them on the portico, and they entered the Oval Office together.

"I'm gonna call Donna," Josh said, gesturing towards his office.

"You can call her from here," the President told him.

"Thank you, sir," Josh said, took several steps away from the President and the head of the presidential detail and then hit 1 on his Blackberry. While waiting for Donna to pick up, he listened to Ron giving a status report on Peter, Miranda and Helen.

"Hi," Donna greeted him, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"Hi," Josh said.

"What's wrong?" Donna asked him, apparently she heard something in his voice too.

"We can't find Annabeth," Josh told her simply.

"Have you…"

"She missed her check-up in the lunch break," Josh interrupted her. "She didn't answer her phones and pager."

"We are on our way to the chopper, we should be at home in two hours," Donna said.

Josh let out a relieved sigh, he dealt better with crises when Donna was around. He heard Helen Santos query what was wrong and Donna telling her the news.

"Josh," he heard then the First Lady's voice.

"Yes, ma'am?" Josh asked her and saw the President's heard turn towards him.

"We'll find her, and I'll keep an eye on Donna," Helen said.

"Thank you, ma'am," Josh said with a slight smile. With those simple words Helen Santos managed to calm his fears somewhat.

"Tell Matthew we are heading home," Helen told him and then disconnected.

"They are heading home," Josh told the President.

"Thank God."

There was a knock from door that connected Josh's office with the Oval.

"Come in!" Matt Santos gave his permission.

Sam, Lou and Lester entered, followed by Ginger and Margaret.

"Ginger?" Josh asked his assistant.

"Still nothing," Ginger said, shaking her head. Josh saw she was worried, she was wringing her hands and kept stealing glances at Margaret.

"Margaret, thanks for helping," Josh said.

"Anytime," the tall red-head answered him and then both assistants left the Oval Office to try to reach Annabeth again.

Josh told the others they were awaiting the Chief of Police and they nodded in unison. Sam stepped up next to him, and Josh was grateful for the moral support. Ron Butterfield left the room without a word, and Josh looked after him with a frown.

"I told him to locate Annabeth's car," the President told Josh. "At least that's doing something. I know the police can't do anything for a while, they have those stupid missing people rules." His voice was clearly frustrated.

As if on cue, Ronna poked her head in, "Chief Baynard is here, sir."

"Josh," the President reminded him on their previous agreement, and Josh nodded compliantly.

"Welcome to the White House, Chief." President Santos greeted Leslie Baynard with a handshake. "Thanks for coming right away."

"Yes, sir," the Chief said, throwing an unfathomable look at Josh. "I already sent someone to Ms. Schott's flat, they will report back as soon as they arrived."

"Thank you," the President said. "Josh, why don't you call Ginger in, she could inform the Chief about what happened."

Josh nodded and headed towards his office when he felt his Blackberry starting to vibrate. He pulled out his phone and looked down at the display.

"Annabeth?" He asked after picking up. Every head turned to him at once.

"No, Mr. Lyman," he heard an unfamiliar female voice answer in mock sweetness.

"Who are you?" Josh asked her and felt his heart beat faster. The situation was clearly heading into a direction he envisioned with his overactive imagination.

"I'm the one who holds your bitch and more importantly, your spawn. If you ever want to see them alive again, you better listen."

_TBC _

_So tell me what you think, leave a review.  
_


	13. Chapter 13

**A Future Worth Living For**

* * *

Josh took a deep breath and nodded. Then he realized the kidnapper couldn't see him, so he told her he was listening. Meanwhile, he motioned to Lou to give him her clipboard and pen.

"I want half a million dollars in small, unmarked bills," the woman said.

"Nothing else?" Josh asked while scribbling down one word, 'FBI'.

"Nothing else. I know you'll call the FBI, I also know you have the money, Mr. Lyman. Do not fuck with me or your little mistress dies," the woman said.

"I want to talk to her" Josh said to the already dead line. "Well, that was predictable."

"Who was it?" Chief Baynard asked him.

"A woman, she didn't tell me her name though." Josh's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "I'm sorry Chief, but I think it's the FBI's case now."

He crossed the room in three strides and wanted to enter his office but stayed still, his hand on the doorknob. He turned back to the others and frowned. There was no use for all of them stand around and wait for the developments.

"Everybody, go back to your jobs, we have a country to run. I'll keep you apprised," he told them. Not waiting for them to follow his order, he opened the door.

"But Josh…" Sam wanted to say, but Josh turned around and cut off his deputy.

"I think you and Edie have a meeting with Senator Baynes and his little entourage," he said, and then turned to Lou and Lester. "Lester's afternoon briefing is only twenty minutes away; I strongly hope everything is okay."

"What do we say should they ask us why the Chief was asked to the White House?"

"We don't give out information about an ongoing investigation," Josh said. "Sir, I think the Secretary of Transportation is waiting for you."

"Yes, yes," President Santos said, and ushered everyone outside. "Josh is right, people; we have a country to run."

"I can't believe…" Josh heard Lester say while his eyes met the President's. They both nodded, the President, acknowledging Josh's change of priority, gave him permission to leave and dedicate himself to Annabeth's case.

"Ginger," he called out when he finally stepped into his office.

"Yes?" Ginger called back. "Did you find her?"

"I'll need Ron and the FBI's Assistant Director in Charge," Josh told her.

"Oh my God! She was kidnapped?" Margaret asked.

"Yes, Margaret. I need those two as soon as possible," Josh said rather impatiently. He just wanted to do something. This helplessness did nothing to his state of mind. He was on the edge; he was practically bursting with excess energy. He needed to do something.

"I'll take care of it, Ginger. You have to reschedule Josh's meetings," Margaret said, turning to the younger assistant.

"Margaret," Josh called after her.

"Yes?"

"Thanks. Would you call Donna and brief her?" Josh asked her and then picked up his phone. He didn't dare to use his Blackberry in case they wanted to contact him again. "Hi, Mom." He greeted his mother and quickly filled her in.

"You are going to need money?" his mother asked him without further ado.

"Yes, Mom. The $250,000 Dad left us," Josh said, inhaling sharply as he awaited his mother's answer. He wasn't disappointed and he let out a relieved sigh when his mother answered positively.

"I'll drive to the bank and make the transfer right away."

"Thank you, Mom."

"I love you, Joshua. Let me know if you need something else," Rebeka Lyman said.

"I love you too," Josh said and then placed back the receiver. He needed another $250,000. He contemplated his options and then picked up the phone again. "Hi, Mrs. Bartlet," he greeted the former First Lady.

"Josh, what a surprise. Is this a social call or…"

"Annabeth was kidnapped, they are demanding half a million dollars."

"And you don't have the money," Mrs. Bartlet stated rather than asked.

"I only have $250,000," Josh confirmed.

"Okay, let me talk to Jed, he handles the finances. We'll call you back in ten," Mrs. Bartlet said.

"Thank you, ma'am," Josh said and hung up. He noticed Sam loitering in the ante-room and stepped outside to talk to him. He was touched by his concern. Of course he had no inclination to tell his friend this, but by acknowledging his presence, he did the next best thing. Ginger was on the phone to Senator Henry, and Margaret was calling the FBI's Washington Office.

"Josh, if you need it, I have some money," Sam offered.

"How much?" Josh asked him.

"$100,000 if I get to my bank right away," Sam said.

"Okay, tell Zelda to reschedule your meetings for the afternoon," Josh said and then noticed Ron Butterfield approach his office. "Ron, I'll need an agent with Sam when he goes to the bank."

"Of course," Ron said. "You have the money?"

"Yes, although I'll need my bank to be still open when they transfer me the sum," Josh said.

"The Feds are going to take care of that," Ron said. "You just need to call ahead so that they have the necessary money at the ready."

"The Director and the Assistant Director in Charge are on their way," Margaret informed them.

"Good. Margaret, we'll probably need you for the rest of the day. Is there someone who could pick up your son from the nursery?"

"My sister," Margaret said. "I already called her."

"Thank you," Josh said and then turned back to Sam and Ron. He took a deep breath, calmed his fears and told them, "I called Mrs. Bartlet, she is getting back to me in ten minutes. They didn't tell me anything else just gave their demand, Ron. Is that usual?"

"They want you to get the money," Ron said.

"Well, they know how to play this game then, because it's exactly what I'm doing. What do you think, when are they going to call me again?"

"In an hour, maybe two hours," Ron guessed. "Josh, the FBI is going to take care of the case, I don't want to slug it out who is going to be in charge."

"Okay, but I want you here with me while I talk to them, if that's possible."

"Of course," Ron said. "Let me call an agent for Sam and I'll come back after that."

"Okay," Josh said and watched Sam and Ron go away, thanking his lucky stars for having such a great friend.

"Senator Henry was extremely pissed," Ginger interrupted his thoughts.

"Do I look like I care about Senator Henry's feelings?" Josh snapped; the anger and the fear finally taking over. He knew there will be a breaking point but he was sorry for snapping at Ginger. Especially, when he saw Ginger recoil, and Margaret throwing him a threatening glare.

"But I care about your feelings so I shouldn't take it out on you," Josh said and then apologized to Ginger.

"He said he wanted to come over. I told him I have to call him back in ten minutes."

"He wants to come over?" Josh asked back incredulously.

"Yes," Ginger said.

He didn't understand. He heard Ginger telling the old curmudgeon that they had a crisis to deal with. Why he wanted to come over was a mystery. Maybe he wanted to use the crisis to his advantage, knowing that Josh's head would probably not be in the game. Okay, he could come over and then learn not to mess with him at times like these.

"Okay, tell him he can come over," Josh said. "I think…"

"I think Ginger shouldn't call him back," Ainsley cut him off.

"Why the hell not?" Josh asked her in a raised voice. "I will show him his place once and for all."

"Josh, you'll need his support for upcoming bills. You have to talk to him and…"

"Annabeth was kidnapped, Ainsley," Josh interrupted her.

"Yeah, I know, I met Sam and Ron on my way. Let me and Amy take the meeting with him on the Hill."

"No, let him come over, and I'll take the meeting with him," Matt Santos' voice took all of them by surprise.

"Sir, I don't want him to think he caused enough trouble for you to step in," Josh said.

"Ginger, call the man and ask him to come over, tell him we are dealing with a crisis but we are ready to talk to him," the President ordered.

"At least let Ainsley sit in on the meeting," Josh asked the President.

"Of course. Ainsley, Ronna is going to call you as soon as Henry arrives," Santos said.

"Thank you, sir," Ainsley said, and both she and Josh looked after the man as he left the room. "If you need some money…" she started to stay but was interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

"Stay, please," Josh said and then picked up the phone. "Josh Lyman."

"Josh," he heard President Bartlet's voice.

"Mr. President, thank you for calling back so soon," Josh said.

"We only have $100,000 at the ready, will it be enough?" President Bartlet got to the point straight away.

"Yes, sir. Sam is helping me out," Josh said. "Could you transfer the money as soon as possible?"

"Of course, Josh," the former President said and wrote down the account number Josh gave through.

"Thank you, sir. I promise I'm…" Josh wanted to promise to pay back the money, but President Bartlet cut him off.

"It's Leo's child, Josh," he said simply.

"Yes, sir," Josh said taken aback. "I didn't know you knew about that."

"Mallory and Abbey talked about it. Apparently Annabeth wanted us to know but didn't know how to tell us," Jed Bartlet explained.

"I see. Thank you again, sir."

"Call me if you have any news on her."

After replacing the receiver, Josh turned back to Ainsley, "You were telling me?"

"If you need money, I have some," Ainsley offered.

"Thank you, I'll need $50,000. Do you have that much?" he asked her.

"Yes," Ainsley said. "But if I have to go to the bank, I won't be able to sit in on the meeting with Senator Henry."

"I'll join the President," Josh said in a low voice. "Ginger will pull me out if something happens, and I'll have my Blackberry with me."

"Okay," Ainsley said and rose.

"Wait until Sam's back and then take the agent with you," Josh told her. "I'll inform Ron about this."

Ainsley nodded and then left his office. Josh, not knowing what to do, knocked on the door to the Oval. Deep in his heart he needed some reassurance that everything would be alright. Deep in his heart he knew if there was someone who could reassure him it was the President. He radiated confidence and a certain serenity to which Josh responded very well. He realized that Matthew Santos became a President in the last months. He was proud and despite the circumstances, happy. During transition he was laying many a night awake. That's when the doubts came. 'What if Matthew Santos won't be able to make the transition from President-Elect to President?' 'What if they got stuck with an enthusiastic amateur?' But his fears turned out to be just those, fears.

"Josh, did you hear something?" the President asked.

"No, sir," Josh said and then took a deep breath. And then the overwhelming feeling of being guilty overtook him. He realized in the past months he didn't do anything that would have ensured Annabeth safety. He just had those stupid, sometimes awkward teas together with her, asking her about the baby, but never making sure she was fine. Maybe she felt someone following her. Maybe she would have told him something if he wouldn't have been only concerned about the baby. He just hoped that Donna was a better friend to Annabeth than he was. But he knew that they both were the immediate cause of the situation. They both told Annabeth not to have an interview with the DC Daily. They convinced her despite her protestations. They were wrong and now because of them, and mostly him, Annabeth was kidnapped.

"What's wrong, Josh?" President Santos apparently sensed his mood.

"It's my fault. She wanted to tell them it was Leo's child," Josh whispered.

"Josh, it's not your fault. First, it's nobody's business who the father is, it shouldn't have been an issue. And second, what right do they have to kidnap someone just because they think she is close to the Chief of Staff?" Matt Santos asked.

"I could have…" Josh said, but the President interrupted him.

"No, Josh, there was nothing you could have done. It's the hand we were dealt, we will take care of it," President Santos tried to reassure him.

"Yes, sir," Josh said.

"Josh, don't wallow in this guilt. It's not healthy and it's certainly not helping. When Annabeth gets home, she'll need every one of us. Your guilt would only interfere with that," the President said.

Josh only nodded and then, after telling him he would sit in on the meeting with Henry, he left his boss alone. He felt a little bit more positive but was still jumpy and edgy.

Ron, the Director of the FBI and the Assistant Director in Charge were already waiting for him in his office when he returned from the Oval.

"We located Annabeth's car," Ron told him. "It was parked at the Medical Centre."

"We are sending two agents there," George Peterson, the Assistant Director in Charge, said.

"Thanks, Ron." Josh thanked Ron and then turned to the two federal agents, "John, George, thanks for coming. Margaret briefed you?"

"Yes, in great detail," George said with a slight smile. "We have a team on the case. They'll arrive soon to tap your phone."

Josh nodded and then said, "I'll have the money together, I just need my bank to be open when the transfers are done," Josh said.

"No problem," John Kane said. "Why don't you give me the name of your bank, and I'll give them a call."

"Okay, thanks."

"Josh, you know we don't want you to give them the money," George told him.

"I know the FBI's policy, George," Josh said with a nod. "She is pregnant, that's all I have to say."

"We understand, but at least tell them to give you some time."

"They didn't set any deadlines," Josh told the agents.

"We know, but you have to stall them somehow. We need time to find them. You know there is still a fifty percent chance that you'll never see her again."

"Yes, I know. But I don't want to jeopardize Annabeth's and the baby's life unnecessary. If I or you get the feeling that they are going to harm her anyway then we are going to stall, otherwise I'm sure you'll find them after Annabeth is free again," Josh told them.

"Okay, Josh," John agreed and then turned to his colleague to talk about possible exchange scenarios. Josh listened to them until Ron touched his arm.

"Josh. Maybe you should tell them the truth," Ron whispered to him.

"I don't think so," Josh whispered back. "Right now they'll do everything because they think too that it's my kid."

"I just hope Annabeth won't decide to spill the beans now," Ron said with a dark face.

"She knows it's no use now," Josh reassured the Secret Service agent. "She is very smart, you know."

His office phone rang after the exchange, and John Kane picked up, telling them he had his calls transferred to Josh's phone.

"I'm putting you on speakerphone," he told the caller after a few moments.

"Sir, we checked out the cameras, she was tricked. There was a pregnant woman who lured her to her car and that's when they pushed her in," a somehow familiar voice informed them about their finding.

"Thank you, Mike," Director Kane said, and Josh realized why the voice was so familiar.

"Hey, Mike," he greeted the agent.

"Hi, Josh," the agent returned the greeting. "We have a partial plate number, let me check this out and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

"Okay, thanks," he said and then looked down at his watch. The phone call from the kidnapper came a little more than an hour ago. Annabeth must be very scared by now, he thought, but then tried to focus on the problem at hand. He could call Stanley Keyworth and as many trauma psychiatrists as needed, but right now they needed to free Annabeth, her mental health was secondary.

After a single knock Ginger poked her head in, "They are waiting for you in the Oval Office. Sam wanted me to tell you that he is on his way back."

"Okay, thanks. Would you take care of our guests, Ginger? And pull me out if something happens."

"Josh, leave your Blackberry here, we'll call you when it rings," Ron told him.

"Alright," Josh said and then left for the meeting in the Oval Office.

After more than half an hour of listening to Senator Henry's 'concerns' Josh was about to explode. Or kill the senator. The old coot was getting on his nerves, and he noticed that the President's patience was wearing thin too. He glanced at his watch for probably the thousandth time; the only difference this time was that he was called on it.

"Do I bore you, Mr. Lyman?" Senator Henry asked him.

Josh deliberately hesitated for a moment too long before answering, "No, Senator."

"Because you keep looking down at your watch," Senator Henry said.

"You have to forgive Josh, Senator," President Santos said. "We have a crisis a little too close to home, and I asked Josh to take care of this meeting despite that, because I thought you'd have something important to tell us."

Josh's eyes were fixed on the President's face, and thus he was able the notice the small sarcastic smile that appeared on his face.

"May I ask what the crisis de jour is? Perhaps another article about your love life?" Senator Henry asked, and the next thing Josh noticed was that he was towering above the little old Senator, which pose combined with his lethal stare seemed quite threatening.

"I'll make you apologize to Annabeth Schott when she gets freed, sir," Josh promised menacingly and then retreated from the room to his office, leaving Robert Henry to the President.

There were three more agents in his office, apparently setting up a command control type of thing, and one of them was tapping his phone into the system.

"Both Sam and Ainsley are back. Donna and the First Lady are about to land," Ginger told him as she walked in with a tray of coffee cups, Margaret followed with a coffee pot.

"Ron, could you please tell the agents to direct her to my office?" Josh asked Agent Butterfield, who nodded in return.

Donna just arrived at his office when his Blackberry started to ring. She stepped into the room and hurried to Josh side, taking his hand into hers as he picked up the phone.

"Lyman."

"Well, good afternoon, Mr. Lyman," the woman said. "Do you have my money?"

"I have only $150,000 right now, I'm waiting for two transfers before I can get the rest," Josh said.

"Well, lucky for you I believe you, Mr. Lyman. I guess Mr. Seaborn and Ms. Hayes were both very forthcoming."

"Yes, they were," Josh agreed, trying not to show his perplexity about the fact that the kidnapper knew that Ainsley and Sam left the White House to get the money. It probably meant that the White House was being watched. Josh saw Ron rising and that confirmed his suspicions. Holding onto Donna's hand, he took a deep breath before uttering his only demand, "I want to talk to Annabeth."

"I will call you back, Mr. Lyman," she said and then hung up.

"Damn," he heard one of the FBI agents. "We couldn't locate her."

"Hi," he greeted Donna and hugged her tight.

"I love you," Donna whispered to him while she was gently rubbing his back.

"I'm so glad you are here," Josh confessed, and felt Donna's head bob in agreement.

"I was so worried about you," she whispered.

"About me?" Josh asked back incredulously.

"Of course, I know how your mind works, Josh. I know what you are thinking, but you cannot let guilt consume you," Donna said. "It wasn't your fault that article appeared in that rag and it wasn't your fault she was kidnapped. Please, no guilt trips, okay?" she asked him and he felt himself agree without even thinking about it.

"But only if you don't start with it," Josh said as their foreheads touched.

His phone rang, so he extricated himself from the hug and picked up again.

"Josh?" he heard Annabeth's voice. She sounded scared.

_TBC_

**_Thanks for the fantastic reviews so far! I truly appreciate them. :) _**


	14. Chapter 14

**A Future Worth Living For**

* * *

"Annabeth, how are you?" Josh asked her.

"I felt a flutter, the baby is okay," Annabeth sobbed.

Josh was ashamed. He had now the confirmation that Annabeth knew how he neglected her in favor of the baby. But he would remedy that from now on, he promised himself.

"I was asking about you, Annabeth," Josh clarified.

"I'm okay. Just a bit scared," Annabeth said, and Josh was relieved to hear her voice a bit stronger and lighter.

"I'm getting the money together, Annabeth. You just hold on," Josh said.

"Thank you," Annabeth said.

"And Annabeth," Josh added.

"Yes?"

"No false heroics, we are in this together, let me help you," Josh said, hoping that the message he wanted to convey was clear.

"I know, it's no use," Annabeth said, confirming that she understood the message.

"I'll call you back in two hours, Mr. Lyman," the kidnapper said and then hung up again.

Josh looked over to the agents, but they shook their head again. Yeah, he knew, the conversation was too short for the tracing to be successful. He pulled Donna into his embrace once more and buried his head in her hair. He took a deep breath, letting her perfume and unique scent calm him down. When he looked up, the President and the First Lady were standing in the door.

"Josh?" the President asked.

"I have to go to the bank," Josh told Donna, caressing her face with the back of his hand. "She is okay," he added then to reassure the Santoses. "She is okay," he repeated in a whisper. At last, he turned to the agents, "I'll need my Blackberry."

"Josh, she said she would call back in two hours," George Peterson reminded him.

"I know, but still," Josh said.

"I'll stay here and I'll talk to her should she call you again," Donna offered. "If she read that article careful enough she knows where I stand in this story."

"I don't want you to get involved," Josh protested vehemently.

"I think it's too late for that, Joshua," Donna said, putting her hand on his left arm. "Let me do this for you. For Annabeth, for Leo," she added the final name in a whisper.

"Okay." Josh agreed and then turned to Ron, "I'll need an agent."

"Ollie will drive you, and Mark is ready to escort you to the bank and back," Ron informed him.

"The manager knows you are going," Director Kane added then.

"Thanks, everyone," Josh said and then left his office. On his way out he made a quick detour to Sam's office, Ainsley was there too.

"Josh," Sam acknowledged his presence. Ainsley turned to him too, the same question written over the two faces, 'Will Annabeth be alright?'

"She is okay, I talked to her. Both she and the baby are okay," he said. "I'm on my way to the bank. Thanks for everything you did so far. I'll need you later, so don't leave please."

"Didn't plan to," Sam said. Ainsley's answer came at the same moment, "We won't."

"Donna is in my office, maybe…" Josh wanted to suggest to Sam to keep Donna company, but both of them nodded.

"We'll bring her some coffee," his friend said.

"And some Danish," Ainsley added with a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"Thanks, guys, you are the best," Josh told them and then really left the building.

Two hours later, nine people congregated in Josh's office, which with the occupants and the equipment inside seemed to getting smaller and smaller. The Director of the FBI had to leave, but George Peterson, Mike Casper and two technicians were there with Josh, Donna, Ron and the First Couple. Josh knew that Sam, Ainsley, Ginger and Margaret were waiting in the ante-room of his office.

"And you can't trace Annabeth's phone?" Josh broke the silence.

"Not when it's turned off," Mike said. "She must switch it off as soon as she hangs up. Besides, they are on the move."

"How do you know?"

"Each time she called the tracing indicated another direction," Mike explained.

"I see," Josh said with a nod, and they fell silent again.

His phone rang five minutes later. He picked up when the agents signaled him it was okay.

"Lyman."

"Good evening, Mr. Lyman," the kidnapper said. "I think you have what I want."

"Yes," Josh confirmed.

"Wonderful," the woman said in a fake airy voice. "Since they are still all at the White House, Ms. Moss, Ms. Hayes, Ms. Taylor and Ms. Hooper will deliver the money for me."

"No, they don't need to get involved. I'll bring the money anywhere you tell me to," Josh said.

"No!" The woman's voice had no trace of the previous airiness. And then she hung up again.

The assembled agents quickly debated whether they should call back, but the phone's ringing made the discussion pointless.

"I told you not to fuck with me, Mr. Lyman," the kidnapper said. "Ms. Moss, Ms. Hayes, Ms. Taylor and Ms. Hooper. Each will bring a black backpack with 125,000 dollars. Ms. Moss goes to the Lincoln Memorial, Ms. Taylor to the Jefferson Memorial, Ms. Hayes to the FDR Memorial and Ms. Hooper to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. I'll call them with instructions after 11.30; they should be there by that time."

"Wait!" Josh cried out.

"Yes, Mr. Lyman?"

"How do I get Annabeth back?"

"Once I have all the money I'll call you and you can pick her up tomorrow in the morning," the woman said. "No tricks, Mr. Lyman. There will be a sharpshooter's rifle trained at each woman. If they notice something out of order, they have my permission to shoot. Once there is a dead body, nothing keeps me from killing Ms. Schott too. Nobody follows the money; nobody puts tracking devices into the backpacks. I know where you live; I know where your loved ones live and I have relatives and friends who will be glad to avenge my death should something happen to me. You let me go with my money, and you can forget about me."

"I'll do whatever you want me to do, just don't hurt them, please," Josh begged her.

"We'll see, Mr. Lyman, have a good night," the kidnapper said and hung up.

Josh stood up and called the three women and Sam in. He quickly filled them in, telling them they would not have to do it if they didn't want to. The three women assured him that they were ready to do this for Annabeth. Mike and George left to bring back four backpacks and the bullet-proof vests.

"But how will she know our cell numbers?" Donna asked.

"From Annabeth's phone," Josh said.

"I don't think Annabeth has Ginger's and Ainsley's cell stored," Donna said.

"She has," Ginger said. "Josh wanted me to have her number stored in my cell phone and in turn I gave her my number."

"And we swapped numbers after a gourmet spree last Saturday," Ainsley said.

"Okay," Donna said.

Once Peterson came back (Mike was arranging the security details for the women), they distributed the money to the four backpacks. Ainsley, Ginger, Margaret and Donna pulled on the bullet-proof vests. Josh heard Ainsley tell Donna how it was useless if someone aimed at the head. It did nothing good to his already frayed nerves. Sam was quietly talking to the President; the First Lady retreated to the Residence in order to check on Miranda and Peter. According to Lou, who appeared after the phone call, Lester was waiting in his office with Bram and Otto. There was a certain amount of nervous excitement in the room, but Josh felt suddenly very tired. He had nothing more to do, it was up to the four remarkable women to complete his job. He was doomed to wait.

And waiting they did. Mike came back and instructed the women what they had to do in order to ensure their own safety. He distributed five earpieces; he brought one for Josh too, for which he was extremely grateful. They put up the command centre in a van, which was parked near the Cherry Trees. Then they waited again. Ainsley suggested ordering Chinese, and they did. They ate in silence, one of them occasionally breaking the silence for a question or two. And then it was time.

"Please, be careful," Josh told the four of them.

"We will," they answered in unison.

He pulled Donna into a big hug, kissed her and then hugged the other three too.

"Thank you for doing this," he whispered every time.

"We have to go," Mike said and then escorted the women out.

The President, Ron, Josh, Sam and Lou waited in his office with George Peterson and the two technicians. The kidnapper wanted to call Josh one more time, so they stayed.

The woman called Donna, who in turn had to call Ainsley, and Margaret, who had to call Ginger. Donna had to bring the backpack to the columns of the Lincoln Memorial (between Georgia and Connecticut), hold it loosely in her hand and let it go if someone grabbed it. Ainsley was to leave the bag at the statue of FDR with his dog. Margaret was instructed to drop the bag at the Three Soldiers statue near the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, and Ginger was directed to Jefferson's statue.

Josh deemed Donna's task the most dangerous; she had to come in contact with someone in order to obey the order. She told them she was positioned between the Georgia and Connecticut columns, and one of Mike's agents confirmed that they were watching her. There were quite a few tourists milling around, she reported.

"We lost visual contact with the principal," Josh heard the agent two minutes later. "Correction, she is right there. She is approaching the statue. She still has the backpack. I repeat, the bag is still there."

Meanwhile, Margaret reported that she dropped off the bag and was on her way back. Two minutes later, Ginger informed them that she completed the task too. Ainsley said there were some tourists at Fala's statue, and she had to take a picture of them with the dog, but now she placed the bag and withdrew.

"Donna?" Josh heard Mike's voice, but there was no answer. "Donna?" the special agent repeated.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, apparently clued in by the contorting of Josh's face.

"We lost contact with Donna," Josh told them. He was already on his phone, dialing her. It rang a really long time before someone picked up. "Donna?" he shouted into the phone.

"Yeah," Donna said in a weak voice. "My head hurts, Josh."

"Sorry for shouting, we lost contact and I…"

"You flipped," Donna ended the sentence for him. "Yeah, they just put something evil smelling over my nose, and I passed out for a moment. The bag is gone."

"I don't care. Are you okay? Do you need an ambulance?"

"Mike is here," Donna said, and Josh let out a relieved sigh. Everything will be okay now, he muttered under his breath.

It turned out that the person the agent saw was another tall blonde, but not Donna. And while they were watching that woman, the kidnapper's accomplice took out Donna, grabbed the money and fled.

Ron disappeared before Mike brought Donna back to the White House, but came back with the Navy Officer from the White House Medical Unit.

"We'll need the room," Lt. Commander Black asked.

"You can use my office," Sam offered, and Josh nodded. To disassemble all the equipment would have slowed down the examination.

"Or," Matt Santos started, "we could use mine, since it's the closest."

"Thank you, sir," Josh said and watched as Donna, a female Secret Service agent, who seemed to have appeared out of thin air, and Lt. Commander Black entered the Oval Office.

"I'm putting a team on all four women," Ron told Josh. "And of course on Annabeth once you bring her back."

"Okay." Josh knew Donna would protest but this time he won't listen. He already wanted to put a team on her when she received threats, saying she was doomed because she was sleeping with a Jew. But she refused, telling Josh they were not credible threats. Ron had to agree on that occasion, but now it was his idea, so Josh imagined Donna would comply.

The little entourage of the three arrived back in Josh's office ten minutes later, just when Ainsley, Margaret and Ginger were brought back, too.

"I'm okay," Donna said when Josh stepped closer to help her stand.

"I gave her a painkiller and wanted to send her home," Lt. Commander Black said, and Josh risked a smiled at Donna. As expected, she scowled at him.

"I have a couch in my office," Sam offered.

"Thank you, Sam, but I…" Donna said but her voice faltered as she swayed. Josh caught her, eased her back on his couch and sat down next to her.

"You should really rest, Donatella," he whispered to her. "You can't rest here, there are too many people in the room. Just humor the Commander and take Sam's offer."

"Okay," Donna said. She stood with Josh's help and then they were ready to leave his office. "What are you doing, Josh?" she asked as they stepped into the ante-room.

"I'm escorting you there."

"No," Donna protested. "She might call you, we need you here. Sam can help me," she said, turning back to Sam.

"Of course," Sam said eagerly and took Josh's place on her side immediately. Josh scowled at him, but Sam brushed him off with a grin.

Mike returned to the command centre at the Mall, and he informed them in regular intervals that the bags were still there. Things didn't seem to add up, and Josh was becoming more and more frustrated as time passed, minute after minute. He was worried about Annabeth, he was worried about Donna, and also about Ginger, Margaret and Ainsley. The inactivity drove him crazy. He was a man of action, and doing nothing was hard on his nerves. And on the other's nerves too. The room let out a collective sigh of relief when Donna came back around four in the morning. She patted the couch next to her, and Josh sat down, taking her hand into his. Donna rubbed his knuckles with her thumb, making his adrenalin level sink. But soon he got agitated again as night turned into day and the kidnapper still hadn't called.

They sat there in silence, Josh and Donna on the couch, the President in Josh's chair, Ginger, Margaret and Ronna on chairs from the ante-room, Lou in one of the armchairs, Ainsley opposite her. The agents took place by their equipment. Ron was standing near the door that connected Josh's office with the Oval. Sam, Lester, Otto and Bram were sitting on the floor. Otto fell asleep when Donna came back and Josh ceased his pacing. Lester and Bram exchanged amused glances as Otto was letting out soft snoring noises.

Josh mused how this experience would forge a close bond like no other could. For the Bartlet Administration it was Rosslyn, although Josh hoped that there won't be any injuries or fatalities this time.

"Ron, you don't have to stand all the time," Donna broke the silence. "Josh could pace and you could sit down next to me," Donna offered, eliciting a grin from all around the room.

"I would rather stand, Donna, but thank you," Ron said.

"Why isn't she calling?" Josh asked ten minutes later, maybe for the hundredth time.

"Josh," Donna warned him.

"But…"

"Mike said they didn't pick up the rest of the bags, why would she call?"

"I'm worried about Annabeth," Josh retorted.

"And you think you are the sole worrier?" Sam asked back, throwing an impatient look at Josh.

"Is worrier even a word?" Josh shot back.

"Sure it is, and you are a born one," Ainsley quipped, accompanied with a fake sweet smile.

"Shutting up," Josh murmured. He certainly didn't want to be at the receiving end of a 'Hayes smack-down.'

There was a collective intake of breath when his Blackberry rang another ten minutes later.

"I have my money, Mr. Lyman, thank you very much. Ms. Schott is going to await you at GW," the woman said and then hung up.

Josh sprung up, looking impatiently at the others.

"Ollie is waiting for you, Josh," Ron told him.

"Donna?"

"Coming," Donna said. "If she is allowed visitors we will call you. No need for the whole White House to descend upon GW, they have a hospital to run."

"Okay," Lou and Ainsley, the practical ones, answered at once.

"Thank you, everyone," Josh said, looking at his staff and the President. "I couldn't have done this without you."

They nodded solemnly, and Josh left his office. He heard the President thank them again and then he sent them home for a shower and new clothes. Josh took Donna's hand into his once more, and they left the White House with Donna's agent and Mark in tow. Two FBI agents followed them in a SUV. Josh was on the phone right after they climbed into car.

"This is White House Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman," Josh pulled out the White House card, thinking there was no need to go seven rounds with a hospital at this time of the day.

"Yes, Mr. Lyman?" a cheery voice asked him.

"There was an Annabeth Schott admitted earlier. I need a status report on her."

"Sir, I'm sorry, but only her family…"

"Listen, I hold her power of attorney, so maybe you could inform me about her condition," Josh told her.

"Josh," Donna admonished him.

"Alright, Mr. Lyman," the cheery person said. "Ms. Schott was delivered with a mild concussion and some bruises. Nothing serious. Her baby is in excellent health too."

"Thank you. I'll be there in a few minutes; I need to talk to her doctor."

"Of course, Mr. Lyman," the nurse said, and Josh hung up.

"She is okay, just a mild concussion and some bruises. Nothing serious. The baby is okay too," Josh relayed the information to Donna. "We'll take her home with us?"

"Yes, and I'll stay with her today. Then we need to think about a permanent solution."

"I'll call Mallory and see where she is on the flat," Josh offered.

"Okay. I think she would want to come back to work tomorrow, but she will need actual rest in her condition. The stress can be dangerous," Donna said. "We'll take turns to be with her next week. You'll call Stanley?"

"Yup, I think we might need to talk him too."

"Not me," Donna protested.

"I won't if you won't," Josh told her.

"Fine, be that way, but that's blackmailing, you know that, right?" Donna asked him in a weary voice.

"Yeah, you can sue me later," Josh said with a smirk.

"No, but I might find some other punishments," Donna said, but her actions contradicted her words as she squeezed his hand and leaned over to kiss him. Josh was barely able to keep himself from uttering some nonsense about liking his punishment. But then he thought better of it, and kept his silence. Donna looked at him with a surprised look in her eyes, letting Josh know that she expected an 'open-mouth-insert-foot' moment to follow. Josh shook his head, letting her know that he was not going to say something like that. He was rewarded with another kiss, and then they arrived at the hospital.

They were led to Annabeth's room, and Josh let out a sigh of relief upon seeing her sleeping form. They both ventured in and stood next to her bed, just watching her, both sporting a gentle smile.

"I'll talk to her doctor," Josh said at last. "See when she can leave the hospital."

"Okay, I'll stay here with her," Donna said and shed her jacket. She pulled a chair close to Annabeth's bed and settled down. Josh pressed a kiss on the top of her head, leaned down to gave Annabeth a kiss too and then left the room in search of the physician in charge. He briefly wondered why the other three bags wasn't picked up, but then decided to leave the solving of that mystery to Mike.

_TBC _


	15. Chapter 15

**A Future Worth Living For**

* * *

Donna opened the door for him, and after shaking off his umbrella Josh stepped in. 

"Hi, honey," he greeted her and leaned over to kiss her. He used the term of endearment more and more, and Donna got used to it. Josh had a hunch that she even liked it. At least that's how he interpreted the smile, which lit up her face every time he used the word.

"We have visitors." Donna's smile turned into a grin.

"Really?" Josh asked her incredulously. It was a rainy Sunday morning, and he didn't expect to find guests in the living room when he came home after an all-nighter at the West Wing. "Who is here?"

"The gang, Charlie, Zoey and Mike," Donna informed him.

"Charlie and Zoey?" Josh asked back as he toed off his shoes.

"Yeah, you know they care about Annabeth, you met them there quite often," Donna said, and Josh had to agree. His fiancée mobilized the cavalry after Annabeth was released from the hospital, and in the last week there was always someone, who sat with her. Even the First Couple offered their services. Jed and Abbey Bartlet came the day Josh and Lou set Annabeth up in a hotel room and after their visit, Zoey and Charlie visited too and they both offered Donna to share the task. Josh had to admit Zoey was a great help, although Josh was worried about young woman, the memories Annabeth's abduction jogged were not pleasant ones for the daughter of the former President. "Are you tired?" Donna asked him.

"I slept a few hours on the couch," Josh said.

"Good, we'll need your help," Donna said mysteriously and then led him into the living room.

Josh had to resist the urge to recoil when he saw the mass of people milling around in the living room. Apparently the gang consisted of Margaret, Ginger, Lester, Otto, Bram, Sam and Ainsley. Ainsley, Margaret and Ginger were holding cups and chatted about the food in the White House Mess; Lester, Otto and Bram were watching CNN World News while Charlie Zoey, Sam and Mike discussed something Josh wasn't able to hear. Otto noticed him first.

"Hi, Josh," he greeted him. "Is everything okay at the White House?"

"Yep," Josh said. "Why are all these people in our living room, Donna?" He turned to his fiancée.

"They all want to help," Donna told him.

"Help with what?"

"Mallory came by yesterday," Donna told him. "They were in town, and she brought the key. She has the apartment ready. I went over to Annabeth's, and Sam and Ainsley were there too. I told them the good news, and Josh, you should have seen Annabeth. She got so excited. You know how all the media types are camped outside her home."

"I know, that's why we set her up in that hotel room," Josh said.

"Yes, but Annabeth, quite understandably, misses her home, Josh," Donna went on.

"I know," Josh said, letting out a tired sigh. She and Annabeth talked every day, even when he wasn't able to visit her, he called. She asked him every time when she could go home. But he wasn't only worried about the media but also about the kidnapper still at large. The woman left the remaining three bags untouched, and after a lengthy debate among the chiefs of the involved law enforcement agencies, they withdrew the backpacks and the agents from the sites.

"Anyway, Annabeth doesn't know about this," Donna said, gesturing around. "Sam collected the boys and Zoey, and I called Ginger and Margaret. Ronna and Lou are going to join us later."

"Why do I have a sudden impulse to run?" Josh murmured under his breath, and Ainsley, who stood closest, grinned up at him.

"Yep, we are going to paint and decorate," Donna said. "You'll see, it will be good." Judging by her voice she tried to reassure and persuade him at the same time.

"Paint?" Josh asked back.

"Just the nursery," Margaret reassured him.

"The rest of the flat is freshly painted," Donna added. "Courtesy of Mallory."

"Yeah," Josh said non-committally. "You realize I have never in my life painted a room."

"Yes, Josh," Sam said. "We realize. That's not why we need your help."

"Oh, you mean you need my Visa card?" he asked back with a grin.

"That too," Donna said with a sweet smile, "but we also need you to go to the store with Ainsley and Margaret and buy nice furniture for the baby."

"You mean while the rest of you paint the nursery and schlep Annabeth's furniture across town?"

"Yup," Donna said with a smile.

"I love you so much I could…" Josh wanted to say, but Donna cut him off.

"We have an audience, Joshua," she warned him.

"Yeah-yeah," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. The others broke out in laughter.

"Okay, boys and girls, let's get down to work," Lester said and led the gang out of the apartment.

"Hey, Mike, thanks for coming," Josh said, after Donna nudged him closer to the FBI agent.

"I came because of Annabeth," Mike brushed him off and caught up with Sam and Charlie. Yeah, they had a falling-out in Annabeth's hospital room the afternoon the kidnapper let her go. They didn't speak too much since then, except in official capacity. Josh didn't understand why he acted the way he did, he knew it was standard law enforcement procedure to get the account of the victims.

_Mike stepped into the hospital room, and Josh greeted him with a nod. Annabeth was awake but she looked very tired and scared. The first time she opened her eyes, Josh's heart broke a little when he saw the obvious pain and fear in them. She told him she felt better, but he didn't quite believe her._

_"Josh," Mike greeted him. "Ms. Schott."_

_"Mike," Josh returned the greeting. "Annabeth, this is Special Agent Michael Casper," he introduced his friend, and then turned back to him, "Did they pick up the rest of the bags?"_

_"No. Agent Butterfield, Director Kane and Assistant Director Peterson decided I should call back my team. They are going to give you the remaining money back," Mike reported._

_"Okay," Josh said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Do you know something new?"_

_"No, I'm here to hear Ms. Schott's account of the events," Mike said._

_"Absolutely not," Josh protested._

_"It's standard procedure, Josh," Mike told him._

_"No way, Mike. She had one hell of a day, let her rest for a while, then you can take her statement," Josh said._

_"It's standard to hear it sooner than later, Josh," Mike explained. "People tend to forget, embellish or downplay things. We have to do this now."_

_"No, absolutely not," Josh persisted, glaring at his friend menacingly._

_"Josh," Annabeth whispered. Both men whipped their head to her, in the heat of the argument they almost forgot she was there._

_"Yes?" Josh asked her in a gentle voice. He didn't want Mike to upset her, and now it seemed he did just that. She looked up at him with tears glistening in her eyes._

_"I just want to get over with it," she said._

_"Annabeth, you don't have to. I already asked a therapist to come talk to you, I can call him and he can tell Mike to back off," Josh said, taking Annabeth's hand into his._

_"No, I just want to tell him. Maybe they can get her sooner this way," Annabeth told him._

_"Are you sure?" Josh asked her for confirmation._

_"Yes." Annabeth nodded._

_"You want me to stay?" he asked._

_"No, you'll get all worked up about it," Annabeth said with a sad smile._

_"You don't have to be alone with him," Josh whispered._

_"I'm not afraid of him," Annabeth assured him._

_"I know, but still," Josh insisted._

_"Who else is here?"_

_"Ainsley and Donna are in the cafeteria," Josh said._

_"Both, please," Annabeth said._

_Josh nodded and then gave Mike another threatening glare._

_"I'm sending Ainsley Hayes and Donna up, you are going to wait for them before you even ask a question," he said._

_"Okay," Mike said in a cold voice._

And that was it. Ever since that morning Josh avoided Mike like a Republican. Donna told him to get over it, call him and ask him over for a beer, but Josh was a stubborn mule, so the status quo remained. He learned only on Saturday that Mike was added to the roster Donna drew up for organizing Annabeth's visitors, and only because Annabeth picked up the phone laughing when he called over at lunch break. He asked her who was there and she admitted that it was Mike. The FBI agent talked to Donna after he heard the account of the events and warned her not to let Annabeth alone in dark, confined rooms. The door had to stay open and there had to be lights on. She was forced to spend most of the time of her captivity in the trunk of a car and she was traumatized by the treatment. Annabeth had been right; he got all worked up about that. He wanted that person brought to justice as soon as possible; he wanted her to feel just as scared and hurt as Annabeth had been. They were pretty sure there was only one person involved, probably that's why the other backpacks were left untouched. The FBI had a hunch that it was someone with a White House connection, and Josh had a hunch that it was actually someone from the White House. The thought freaked him out, but it festered in his brain and he couldn't help it. 

And now he was going shopping with Ainsley and Margaret while the others were painting the nursery. He thought about asking Mike to accompany him and the two women on the shopping spree but then made up his mind. Mike was probably the only one beside Charlie who actually knew something about painting a room.

When they go back, the nursery was already painted and they brought Annabeth's furniture over. Annabeth stood in the middle of the living room and looked around enraptured.

"My new home," she sighed.

"Yeah," Josh said in agreement. "They are going to bring the baby furniture here on Monday morning. We couldn't get someone to deliver all the stuff."

"Josh, you shouldn't have," Annabeth told him while she hugged him. "Thank you."

"Nothing to thank for, Annabeth," he said, leaned down and planted a light kiss on her forehead.

"And they painted the nursery white and blue," Annabeth told him the news.

"They?" Josh asked back.

"Well, Lester, Charlie and Mike," Donna explained. "We just chose the colors."

"I like it. I bet the kiddo will like it too," Josh predicted.

"I certainly hope so," Annabeth said, placing her hand over her belly.

_TBC_

_**One more chapter and then we are done. ;) Tell me what you think, leave a review.**_


	16. Chapter 16

**_A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier,  
the past forgotten,_ AND THE FUTURE WORTH LIVING FOR.**

* * *

"Josh, I swear to God if you don't get up in two minutes I'm going to dump a glass of water on your head," Donna warned him from the kitchen. 

"I'm up, I'm up," he hurried to reassure her and then turned around, pulling the pillow over his face.

"Josh!" Donna shouted.

"Give me ten minutes, honey!" he whispered back, knowing well that Donna couldn't hear him. He was really-really tired. Together with the President and the Joint Chiefs, Josh pulled two all-nighters in a row because there was a 'situation' in Kazakhstan. Situations in Kazakhstan started to become one continuous situation, so much so that Josh wasn't even able to distinguish between situations as days of mishaps turned into weeks of crises. But Arnie Vinick seemed to reach a turning point last night. There was diplomatic success and there were promises, and Josh made Lou a happy Communications Director for the first time in a month when he met her before leaving the West Wing for his much deserved sleep in his own bed. He was tired, so awfully tired. But the day already begun, and although he climbed into bed only four hours ago he knew he had to get up. He had to help Donna and then get ready for the day at the White House.

"Josh!" Donna said in a gentle voice from the bedroom door.

"I'm getting up," Josh said, throwing back the pillow and slowly sitting up. "I need to shower first."

"Okay, come to the kitchen then, I'll have breakfast ready. What would you like to eat?"

"Bagel, coffee and OJ, please," Josh said.

"Okay," Donna said with a smile. "I know you had two long nights in a row, Josh, but I really need your help if we want to be ready at one," she told him.

"I know, and I promise to hurry up. I'm just very tired," Josh said.

"We'll bring a blanket with us and you can take a nap," Donna said.

"I don't know. I don't want to give any more ammunition to the President," Josh said and then entered the bathroom accompanied by Donna's laughter.

Ten minutes later, he stepped into the kitchen, had breakfast, thanked Donna for the coffee and then they started with the potato salad.

"We need to pick up Annabeth," Donna reminded him.

"I didn't know about that," Josh said.

"I might have forgotten to mention it, but I noticed her discomfort when the President told us we could bring someone for the party," Donna said, "so I told her that we could go together."

"We sound pretty pathetic that we don't have anyone to bring," Josh said.

"I don't think so," Donna contradicted. "Our colleagues are our friends, I call that lucky. And or other friends are unavailable."

"Yeah," Josh said and nodded. CJ and Danny were in California, and Toby was still considered as 'radioactive poison' so they couldn't exactly invite him to a barbecuing in the Rose Garden of the White House. Not that Toby would have liked to come. He wasn't exactly the barbecuing type of guy. Josh briefly debated to invite Andie with Huck and Molly but then he pictured Toby spending the day alone. He didn't want that. He was already contemplating moving to New York in the fall, he needed as much time with his kids as he got.

"Helen wanted to know if she could talk to you tomorrow," Donna said while she started to prepare the Jell-O salad.

"Of course, but why didn't she give me a call?" Josh asked taken aback. He thought his relationship with Helen Santos was more than okay, he thought she liked him. He liked her very much. She gave Donna a wonderful chance, she supported her husband and his agenda; she was a terrific mom and a good friend.

"She wants to talk to you about something personal, Josh. Not as the First Lady but rather as a friend," Donna told him, and Josh sighed with relief. So Helen considered him as a friend too. That was good to hear, but why would she need to meet with him? Why couldn't she tell Donna and then Donna would meet with him. He thought about the personal conversations he had with Annabeth and Ginger but then shook his head. It won't be about that with Helen.

But the thought was entertaining enough to utter, "Okay, but she is not pregnant, is she?"

He had his fair share of announced pregnancies since Inauguration, first Annabeth then Ginger had 'the talk' with him. He was still getting over the one with Ginger. Josh didn't like changes, and Ginger's announcement made him realized that like it or not he had to train another assistant in the upcoming months. He was thankful that Ginger told him in time, but they still weren't able to find someone in the last two weeks, at least not someone whom Josh liked and trusted enough. He wanted to ask Carol but he was soon reminded by Donna that Carol was working in the East Wing as the First Lady's social events coordinator. He asked Margaret too but she declined for the same reason she already cited when he asked her first. She wanted to put her son first, and working for the Chief of Staff was not conducive to that.

Donna threw him an unfathomable look in response and then turned back quickly to the task at hand; she was chopping pineapples for the Jell-O salad.

"Holy Mother of…" Josh exclaimed.

"I hope that was a cry of joy, Josh," Donna remarked with a pointed look and put the fruit pieces into the bowl.

"Of course," Josh hurried to correct his mistake. "But, Donna…"

"Yeah, I know. Just remember, she needs a friend, not the Chief of Staff to the President of the United States," Donna said while picking off the grapes from the stem.

"Is there something in the water at the White House?" Josh cracked a joke, trying to win time in order to process the news.

"Annabeth got pregnant before we won the White House, Josh," Donna corrected him dryly and handed him a bowl of apples.

He nodded and turned to peel the apples, deciding to let it rest until Helen confirmed her pregnancy to him. He had to survive the day first.

"Bonnie!" he exclaimed while he was chopping the apples.

"My name is Donna, Joshua," Donna quipped while mixing the Jell-O powder with water.

"No, I will ask Bonnie to come work for me," Josh said. "I know her, I like her, and she is going to be my new assistant."

"Okay, I know that you can't pay attention to the minor details of real life, Josh, but I need you to remember the last conversation you had with Bonnie," Donna said.

Josh thought it was some time in the seventh year of the Bartlet Administration but certainly he couldn't remember anymore. And then something clicked. Yeah, he talked to Bonnie recently, just five days ago.

"She is Ainsley's assistant," he stated with a sad look in his eyes.

"Yeah," Donna nodded.

"Well, Ainsley likes me," he said with a smirk.

"Sure, but not enough to part with her capable and effective assistant," Donna said. "But you might want to delegate the convincing."

"To you?" Josh asked back.

"You have a deputy," Donna offered.

"Sam?" Josh asked back.

"Sure," Donna confirmed.

"Sam could convince Ainsley faster than me?" Josh asked to clarify.

"Sure," Donna repeated and nodded.

"What am I missing?" Josh asked back. "I mean they spend half the time arguing with each other, and then there are witty little jabs and that banter thing they got going… Ainsley and Sam?" he asked Donna, finally coming to the realization that Sam might really be luckier with convincing Ainsley than he.

"Yup," Donna said while she poured the liquid over the fruit pieces in the bowl.

"When, how, where?" Josh demanded to know.

"Well, it was gradual, but they are not dating. Yet," she added then with a grin.

"But… She is a Republican!" he exclaimed.

"Josh, not two minutes ago you told me you liked Ainsley," Donna reprimanded him.

"Sure, but not enough to marry her," Josh said.

"I would hope so," Donna remarked with a pointed look.

"Even if I weren't happily married," he said, giving her a little kiss on the lips, "I don't think I could ever…"

"You couldn't, you are too monomaniacal for that," Donna said. "That's why you got me."

"No, I got you because I love you and you love me," he said and then gave her another kiss.

"You are sweet," Donna complimented him after the kiss. "Besides, they don't even date; I don't think they are going to marry soon."

"Sam is that hopelessly optimistic. And the 'Being a Republican' thing aside, Ainsley is the type of girl who would accept him the way he is. For what he is."

"Exactly. So when they decide to date we should show our support for them," Donna suggested.

"Sure thing. But I can support Sam even if I mock him for dating a Republican, right?" Josh said with a grin that he knew always won Donna over.

"Yeah, I guess so," Donna said, waving resignedly.

"Thank you," Josh said, giving her a big kiss on the cheek. "I have a brilliant idea," he announced after Donna put the Jell-O salad into the refrigerator.

"Should I even ask?" Donna queried mockingly.

"I could ask Ollie to pick up Annabeth in four hours and then bring her here, and we could climb back into bed until then," Josh said.

"I know you are tired," Donna said, after giving her husband a kiss. "You can go back to bed; I'll take my laptop into your office and write the weekly emails to our moms."

"Yeah, you could do that or you could join me in bed. It's no fun without your there," Josh whined.

"I thought you were tired," Donna said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I also missed having you in my arms the last two nights," Josh said.

"You are…"

"Anything but sweet, please," Josh begged her after rolling his eyes.

"You are sexy, and I love you so much," Donna whispered into his ear, making him shiver with anticipation.

They arrived at the White House on time. The Rose Garden was packed with staffers. Sam was guarding the grill with the President; Lou was talking to Ainsley and Lester. Carol and Margaret were chatting quietly in a corner, watching with a smile as Miranda was hugging and kissing Margaret's son. Bram and Otto were passing out the beer, and Helen Santos had been talking to Ronna and Edie, but as soon as she saw them enter, she made her way over to the grill.

"Annabeth!" the President exclaimed and hugged the petite blonde gently. "How are you on this fine day?"

"Thank you, sir, I feel okay given the circumstances," Annabeth said, referring to the fact that she was due in twenty-two days. "This is for you," she handed him the Flag Cake she made.

"This looks fantastic, Annabeth!" Helen said, taking the cake from her husband.

"Thank you, ma'am," Annabeth said.

"Josh, stay with us," the President said, seeing that the women walked off towards Ainsley and Lou.

"Yes, sir," Josh complied. "Sam, how are you today?"

"Okay, I guess," Sam said honestly. Josh liked that trait in Sam. His friend once told him if he didn't want to know how he was he shouldn't ask for it. And sometimes–but really only once or twice a month–Josh didn't ask. Sam understood, and Josh liked that too. He was really glad to have his best friend back.

"Is there something troubling you?" Josh asked, putting his arm around Sam's shoulders.

"No, not really. I just feel restless," Sam said.

"I told him to relax, it's a day off," Matt Santos threw in.

"Listen to the President, Sam, he knows what he is talking about," Josh said. "On the other hand, you might want to ask her out, maybe that would make the relaxation part easier."

"Ask her out?" Sam asked back flabbergasted.

"Whom?" Santos asked at the same moment.

"Ainsley," Josh said simply. "And yes," he added after turning to Sam, "just ask her out."

"Okay," Sam agreed quickly much to the President's and Josh's amusement. He stalked off to Bram and Otto while Josh and Santos watched him moving.

"How come I didn't see that coming?"

"I didn't either," Josh confessed with a grin. "Donna gave me a hint."

"Really?" Santos asked. "Listen, Josh, we should talk about something personal tomorrow, and I…"

"Your wife already asked for a meeting, Mr. President," Josh hurried to reassure him.

"I didn't know about that," Santos said.

"Yeah, she asked Donna to ask me. And then I asked back jokingly if Helen wanted to tell me the same as Annabeth and Ginger. You should have seen Donna's face, sir," he said, grinning up at the President.

"I can imagine," the President said with a laugh.

"I would congratulate you, sir," Josh said with a little shrug, "but it would draw too much attention to us. Nevertheless, you should know that I'm really happy for both of you."

"Thanks, Josh," Santos replied. "Hey, Sam was telling me campaign stories. You never told me how you met Donna."

"She might be willing to tell you about that, sir," Josh said. "Did Sam tell you how CJ's interview with Toby went?"

"No, he just told me how you forgot the law firm's name he was working for," came the President good-natured jab.

"Yeah, but I got Sam at the end," Josh said, a reminiscent look on his face. "So, CJ and Toby," he started and told the President the story. How CJ was fired and then fell into the pool. At the end of the story, the President was howling with laughter.

"The CJ I knew was completely stressed and not much fun to be around," he confessed to Josh then. "She was still witty, but something was missing."

"Yeah, being Chief of Staff to the President of the United States does that to you. On top of it, she had to fight with Hutchinson and sometimes the Joint Chiefs. And there was the MS attack during the China trip. And then Toby's mess. She had a much harder job than I. I understood then and even better now."

"But you learned your lesson well," Santos said.

"I learned that I have to have friends and people who love me around me and then I'm going to be okay. They will remind me what is really important and they will make sure that I'm okay even if I protest when they try to 'handle' me," Josh admitted with a self-deprecating smile.

"Ginger just called Ronna." Ronna came over to them. "They are stuck at DuPont Circle."

"Again?" Josh asked her. "You would think an FBI agent could navigate around the town he has been living for over ten years better, don't you?" he asked the President then.

"They are having a matinee?" Ronna asked.

"Matinee?" the President asked.

"You don't want to know, sir," Josh said, not wanting to tell his boss about the minute-by-minute accounting of the President's actions, called the tick-tock.

"Josh," the President said with a sigh. "You know I'm thirsty for knowledge."

"Well, sir, with all due respect, but that sounded rather dorky," Josh tried for misdirection and grinned up at Santos.

"Well, I noticed that that oval-shaped office brings out my dorky tendencies," the President admitted with a matching grin.

"You know we keep your days minute-by-minute," Josh asked him.

"Yes?" the President said, lengthening the 's', indicating that he was waiting for the explanation.

"You know when you and the First Lady… You know," Josh stuttered and then gestured around.

"We have matinees?" Santos asked with a frown.

"That's what we call the extracurricular activities during the day," Ronna told him, and Josh looked up at him with trepidation. He didn't know what kind of reaction should he count on, but the President just gave them a sheepish grin.

"So we can safely assume that historians will know just how much I love my wife," he said.

"That remark could earn you a 'you are so sweet, Matthew' from Helen," Josh said with an impertinent grin.

The President only responded with a glare, but Josh was happy to finally have something on Santos, usually it was the other way. After that they both tended to burgers on the grill. They talked about Kazakhstan for a bit, but Helen put a stop to that when she wandered over. Ginger and Mike arrived fifteen minutes later, and Mike joined Josh and the President at the grill.

"DuPont Circle again, Mike?" Josh mocked his friend. Their relationship was repaired when Annabeth's kidnapper was seized. It turned out that it was Jessica's, Josh's former typist's, lover, who wanted to get revenge on Josh for transferring Jessica out of the Chief of Staff's office. The relatively speedy trial ended two weeks prior to Independence Day, and Pamela Thorne was sentenced to life long prison.

"Yes, you see… I… We…." Mike was clearly flustered.

"They call it a matinee when the President of the United States does that with the First Lady," the President helped him.

"Actually it's just in your case. The Bartlets were 'barbecuing,'" Josh informed him, eliciting a laugh from Santos.

He couldn't believe his eyes, but Mike was actually blushing. Ginger came over to apologize for their lateness, and she brought a beer each for the President and Mike.

"I don't get any?" Josh asked taken aback.

"Not on my watch," Ginger said, "I don't want Donna be mad at me," she explained.

"I only had one beer so far," Josh grumbled.

"Get over it, boss," Ginger said.

"That reminds me. I have to talk to Sam, he has to convince Ainsley to let Bonnie go," Josh told them and left the little group.

Donna intercepted him and didn't let him go near Sam and Ainsley until they finished their Independence Day meal. When the women pulled out the blankets, Josh sauntered over to Ainsley and Sam, who were sharing Ainsley's big checkered blanket. He pulled Sam away for two minutes, letting him know what he wanted him to accomplish.

"And you think I could convince her of that?" Sam asked back.

"Yup," Josh said with a smile. "But even more Donna thinks that too."

"Okay," Sam agreed.

"Thanks," Josh said and then walked back to their blanket.

"There was only one President born on the 4th of July," Donna said loud enough for everyone to hear. Sam and Josh let out a groan in response; Ginger, Margaret and Carol only smiled indulgently.

"Really?" President Santos asked back interested.

"Yes, sir," Josh said, "it was Calvin Coolidge."

"And how do you know that, Josh?" Santos asked him.

"I live together with a trivia buff, sir," Josh said with a grin complete with dimples. He hoped his dimples would soften Donna's frown.

"Are there any more interesting facts about July 4?" Santos asked.

"Sir, I beg of you," Josh said in a low voice, making everyone grin.

"The Republic of Hawaii was proclaimed on this day in 1894," Donna imparted.

"Anything more?"

"Josh's former favorite act was signed into law on this day in 1966 by President Lyndon B. Johnson," Donna said.

"The Freedom of Information Act!" Sam exclaimed.

"Yeah, I was a professional hostile witness for Claypool for a while," Josh explained to the President when he looked at him questioningly.

"I met Claypool once or twice," Santos said with a shudder. "Something else, Donna? Make it pretty interesting, it's your last, judging by the look on Josh's face."

"In 1855 Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass was published on this day," Donna said.

"That can't be true," Sam called over.

"Why not?" Josh asked while Donna smiled mysteriously.

"Because Leaves of Grass has 'O, Captain! My Captain!' in homage to Lincoln, and he wrote that after the President died," Sam explained.

"That section was added later," Donna said. "Originally the book contained only 12 poems, by the time its last version got published in 1891 it had nearly 400 poems."

"Sam, just give up," Josh suggested.

"I really should," he mumbled.

Donna then convinced Sam to recite the poem. By the time he was done with it, Josh was already asleep. Fortunately the same happened to the President so Josh had no reason to fear any more mocking remarks from Matt Santos. He woke up two hours later, finding Helen and Ginger next to their blanket. They were obviously talking about babies. Donna was listening enraptured, and Josh decided to watch her for a while before letting her know that he was awake. But he couldn't keep quiet for long, so after two minutes he decided to sit up and rubbed his eyes. He looked around and spotted Annabeth alone on her blanket, eating Jell-O salad. He went over to her to keep her company.

"You really shouldn't eat that thing," Josh said. "You are going to visit a hospital soon; they'll have Jell-O in every flavor and shape."

"Yeah, I know, but I like this combination. It's grapes, pineapples and apples with the lemon Jell-O."

"Actually, it's lemon and lime Jell-O together," Josh said. "Donna made it."

"It's good," Annabeth complimented and then her face contorted for a moment.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked worried. "Does it taste bad? There might be an apple or…"

"No, it's not the Jell-O, Josh," Annabeth said in a whisper.

"What is it then?" Josh asked impatiently.

"Contractions," Annabeth said.

"You are having the baby?"

"I'm absolutely not having this baby today!" Annabeth screeched.

"You are having the baby and you didn't tell me!" Josh accused her. "Donna, call Ollie, we are going to GW!"

"Josh, I'm not having this kid today," Annabeth insisted.

"Why the hell not?" Josh asked back, getting louder himself.

"I don't want to saddle her with this birthday!" Annabeth shouted back.

"Like it or not, you are having this baby today. And now, let me take care of you."

"Josh, I don't want you to leave the party before the fireworks," Annabeth said. "In fact, I don't want to leave before the fireworks."

"That's tough, Annabeth," Josh said, his voice indicating that he would not tolerate any protests.

"I'm not having this baby today!"

**THE END**

_So if you liked it, please leave a review. Thank you everyone who already gave me feedback, I truly appreciate it. _**  
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